Many men are quite clueless over their wives’ decreasing interest in sex. This especially happens after they have been married for quite a number of years. The causes of women’s lowering sex drives can be quite varied and complex. Some problems can be due to a simple, reversible physical problem while others are as a result of serious medical conditions, difficult life situations, or emotional problems or a combination of various causes.

Any one of the following factors can cause problem to your bedroom life:

(1) Unharmonious relationship

Differences over various aspects of the relationship such as in the sharing of responsibilities, the way of child caring or financial matters can hurt sex drives. Issues of domestic violence or any form of abuse can also damage sex life. These problems prevent a woman from expressing her sexual wants and needs to her partner.

(2) Emotional issues

Depression, anxiety about or over other matters, stress, resentment and guilt can affect a woman’s sexual desire.

(3) Not enough or lack of stimulation

A woman’s and/or her partner’s insufficient knowledge of sexual response and stimulation can prevent her from having a fulfilling bedroom experience. Poor communication between partners probably also contribute to this.

(4) Gynecological issues

Pelvic disorders as well as inflammation of the pelvic region can cause pain during sex. Vaginal dryness due to insufficient stimulation, decrease in estrogen during menopause, hormone imbalances, other illness and certain medications can inhibit arousal or make intercourse uncomfortable. Vaginismus, a painful spasm of the muscles surrounding the vaginal opening, which is probably caused by injuries or scars from surgery, abuse, or childbirth, by infection, or by fear, or by irritation from spermicides or condoms, can make penetration extremely painful. Inflammation and irritation of vaginal tissues (vaginitis) due to infection or other causes can make intercourse uncomfortable. Other problems such as endometriosis, ovarian cyst, and nerve damage after surgery (such as hysterectomy) can also affect a woman’s sex drive.

(5) Physical/medical conditions

Tiredness, chronic diseases (such as diabetes, heart problem, high blood pressure), neurological disorders, blood flow disorders, hormonal imbalances, menopause, pregnancy, alcohol or drug abuse can reduce a woman’s satisfaction with her sex life.

(6) Medications/medical treatments

Certain medications such as those for high blood pressure, depression can reduce desire or arousal. Treatments such as radiation therapy for cancer can cause vaginal dryness.

(7) Past sexual abuse

A woman who had been sexually abused can have feelings of guilt, fear or resentment that prevent her from achieving a satisfying bedroom experience. This unhappy past can cause her to lose confidence in man resulting in her sexual indifference.

(8) Attitude problems

Due to upbringing or social norms, some people may associate sex or sexual feelings with filth, shame or guilt. This can cause her not to feel relaxed and also may prevent her from getting easily aroused during sex.

(9) Sexually transmitted diseases

They can affect the genitals causing lovemaking to be uncomfortable.

(10) Her partner’s sexual problems

If her partner is suffering from erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, this can inhibit her own satisfaction.

Ways to cope

If any sexual problem persists for more than a few weeks, she should pay a visit to a doctor who will then try to find out the root causes of her problem. If necessary, the doctor can refer her to a psychotherapist, a marriage counselor, or a sex therapist.

But not all problems need treatment. Some of them can be solved through better communication with her partner plus a little bit of creativity. A woman who can be more upfront in letting her partner know about her sexual needs can have better chances of enjoying a satisfying sex life. She can come up with creative ways to inject some romance and excitement into her sexual routine or trying new sexual positions. She can use masturbation to understand her own sexual response. She can also use fantasies to arouse herself and share these with her partner. The use of relaxation techniques such as warm bath, sensual massage and other forms of touch before sex can be helpful. The use of lubricant for vaginal dryness can help to relieve arousal problems.