How to be Happy and Stress-Free All The Time

Self-ImprovementHappiness

  • Author Kurt Arrow
  • Published March 1, 2012
  • Word count 2,909

Happiness is right here, right now. You are inherently unconditionally happy and stress-free. You don’t have to achieve it. It’s there all the time. It’s the TRUE YOU.

If you’re like most people, you’re always just beyond reach of true happiness. Always looking for answers. Always seeking ways of how to be happy. Then, when you think you found the answer, and you’re happy for a while, it fades away.

Happiness and stress are complete opposites. And just as if they were on a see-saw, they always maintain their position, completely opposite of each other. When one goes up, the other goes down.

The more stress you have, the more unhappy you are. When you’re extremely happy, you won’t have stress. The TRUE YOU, in a state of stress-free happiness, is found in the current moment - the here and now. It’s your see-saw raised all the way up and stress, on the opposite end, is all the way down.

When you experience something for the first time, you are in the here and now. After you’ve had a melt down and cry your eyes out, you automatically return to the TRUE YOU feeling happy and a great sense of relief. The same happens after a really difficult problem or illness is resolved. You return to the here and now, happy and stress-free.

How about that awesome feeling on the first day of your vacation (after the stress of traveling to the destination) when you let go of all your problems and stress melts away? The TRUE YOU emerges. Even doing drugs or alcohol, which allow you to live in the current moment, you’re happy and stress-free.

Have you ever gotten advice to keep busy so that you don’t think about your problems? If you took that advice, you became the TRUE YOU focusing on what you’re doing in the here and now. Did you ever notice how happy you are when engaged in your favorite activity? Again, you’re in the current moment and not thinking about the past or future. That’s an awesome feeling, right? Stress is always the complete opposite so when you’re in that happy state, there’s no stress. That’s what true happiness is. That’s what you already have, and can feel that way all of the time, if you remain in the here and now.

It’s a very simple concept, but for most of us, is hard to accept that it could be that easy to find true happiness. The reason it’s difficult to accept, is that we are filtering in our memories of what we’ve learned (from the past) about stress and happiness, and until now, have never heard of something like this. If you stay focused on this article, in the current moment, your life is about to change. Your mind has been conditioned to seek conditional happiness, through one or more of your senses. Conditional happiness fades away. The TRUE YOU has unconditional happiness that never fades away. You’ll see what I mean shortly.

If you want to test it out, to see if what I’m saying is true, think about one of the problems in your life that you consider a current issue. Take your time, I’ll wait. Okay, did your happiness decrease and your stress increase? Now, ask yourself is the problem something from the past or a fear/negative prediction of the future? Or is it right here in the current moment, like you’re trapped in a burning building?

You might think it’s a "current moment" problem, but if you analyze it, it usually isn’t. Let’s say you’re unhappy in a relationship. Aren’t you unhappy about past experiences with that person, or is the unhappiness based on your negative prediction of the future that things aren’t going to improve between you? Or perhaps you can’t make a decision about whether or not you want to end the relationship, due to fear (of the future) if you were to make the wrong decision or be left all alone?

Here’s another example: Your best friend thoughtlessly forgot your birthday and you feel sad. Your thoughts are memories of the past such as, "I did so much for his birthday and he doesn’t even give me a call!" or "What kind of a friend (memory of life experience) does that?" You may have thoughts of the future like, "Some birthday this is going to be. I wonder if anyone will care."

I’m not suggesting that you analyze everything. I’m only trying to gain your trust that I’m telling you the truth. If you live in the here and now, you will quickly gain the ability to spot stress, even before it hits you. At this point, you may be wondering how to stop those spontaneous thoughts about the past or future. That will be addressed momentarily. I’m going to give you an easy 3 step system that keeps you focused in the here and now, as well as how to let go of those unwanted thoughts, in just a bit. If you understand why you’re not realizing the TRUE YOU, you’ll be able to make the changes that will reveal the truth.

There are four human emotions which are happy, mad, sad and fearful. Since "happy" is constant (the TRUE YOU) the other three are standing in your way of always being happy. Mad, sad and fearful are stress. All stress is outside of the here and now. I call this the FALSE YOU.

You may feel stress in the current moment, but it’s the result of thinking of the past or future. For example: You’re angry about what Joe said behind your back. The anger wouldn’t exist anymore (in the current moment) if you stopped thinking about the past and what was already said. Problems appear as if they are in the current moment, but they only exist when you’re thinking about the future. The only problems in the current moment are the ones you are solving right in that moment. You’ll be totally convinced that you need to keep it floating around in constant memory. The truth is, you will come up with solutions to problems a lot easier when your mind isn’t cluttered.

When you get those kind of thoughts that take you away from the present moment, you simply let them go. When you let them go, stress drops and when stress is at its lowest, happiness maintains its complete opposite, at its peak. At first, you might think that you won’t have your pleasant memories from the past, or you won’t be able to dream or have goals about the future, if you let go of thoughts. Or that you’ll become an empty shell, without feelings or emotions. That’s the FALSE YOU who thinks that. The truth is, your memory improves dramatically and your joy of living is multiplied a thousand times! You start enjoying even simple little things, without effort. Your mind clears so all your pleasant memories and dreams for the future are vivid and spectacular.

There is a proven method that I call Thought Watching, which will reveal the TRUE YOU. This process is designed to keep you in the here and now and make you aware of how controlling your thoughts have been. It helps you to realize that you can take control of your thoughts to prevent self inflicted stress and suffering. You can’t control spontaneous thoughts that just pop into your mind, but you can control your reaction. You can’t control feelings and emotions that are instantly triggered, but you can control your reaction. You may not be pleased to learn that you’re the cause of your stress and negative states of mind, but you will get a great sense of empowerment when you realize how easy it is to stay happy and stress-free, and you’re in control.

When put into practice, you’ll have immediate results, that will give you the skill to let go of mad, sad and fearful permanently. You’ll still have these emotions but in an entirely different way. They won’t stand in the way of your happiness. They won’t cloud your thinking like they currently do. You’ll gain control so if you want to be sad for a while, you can, then you decide when you want it to end.

Thought Watching is three easy steps to help you identify the FALSE YOU, so you’ll be able to get rid of it forever. 1) Observe. 2) Acknowledge. 3) Let it go. Remember that the TRUE YOU is already there, so you won’t have to make any effort to find it.

Step 1 - OBSERVE: Live in the here and now. Watch everything you do, in the current moment. Observe how your thoughts trigger your emotions. Observe how thoughts of the past or of the future are what triggers mad, sad and fearful emotions. None of these emotions are found in the present moment. Observe every feeling that you get. Observe every thought that you get. Observe everything you taste, touch, smell, see and hear. Even if you get thoughts of the past or the future, just observe. Good thoughts, bad thoughts, No thoughts. Observe. Do not act or react. Just observe.

Step 2 - ACKNOWLEDGE: Acknowledge everything you observe. This will help you focus on living in the here and now. If you’re not thinking of something that already happened, or something that hasn’t happened yet, you will not be mad, sad or fearful. This is where the truth, unconditional eternal happiness and the TRUE YOU can be found. Everything outside of the present moment is falsehood and that is where you will find sorrow, despair, anger, pain, suffering, fear, lies, deception, hatred, stress and the FALSE YOU.

Here is an example of what a typical day (in your thoughts) might be like when you practice Observe, Acknowledge, Let it go:

Opening eyes. Struggling to wake up. Hearing radio. This body is sore. This back is killing me. Rubbing eyes. Feeling good, but a little tired. Remembering to observe, acknowledge and let go. Getting a happy feeling. Sitting up at the edge of the bed. Turning off the radio. This body is sore. Cleaning corner of eyes with fingernail. Standing up. This back really is painful. Recalling what day of the week this is. Thinking about confronting Stan about his comments. Getting angry. Started clinging to bad feeling, but remembered to let it go. I should have just said, Angry feeling. Walking to the bathroom. Thinking what I’m going to say without screaming at him or punching him. Anxious feeling . Closing bathroom door. Walking over to the toilet. Lifting the lid. Sitting on toilet seat. This back really hurts. Hearing a large truck go by. Feeling scum on teeth with tongue. Hearing noisy birds outside. Looking at radiator. And on and on all day. Do you see how everything that was observed is being acknowledged?

Note how every time you refer to your body or yourself, you never say "me," "mine," or "my." You are not taking ownership of anything that’s experienced through any of your five senses, which includes thoughts. If you have physical pain and you refer to it as "painful feeling," rather than "I’m in such pain," then you don’t have mental pain along with the physical pain.

You are learning to see each thought for what it is, before your mind manipulates it. Typically, you might have a thought like, "That jerk really hurt my feelings. I would never treat him like that. Who does he think he is? That’s okay, I’ll get even." What you’re going to do now, is observe and acknowledge "Thinking of jerk. Angry feeling ." That’s all. Nothing more. It was a thought that triggered several thoughts and a bad feeling. It’s not yours and it won’t upset you. You let it go.

You’ll be rewarded all day long, for your efforts. Every time you remember to observe, acknowledge and let it go, you’ll get a happy feeling. You’ll be living in the here and now which is pure happiness. There’s no time for worrying about your problems or the future, so your stress level will drop dramatically. You will feel lighter, like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders, and it will motivate you to continue living in the current moment.

Step 3 - LET IT GO: This is the most important of the three steps. Thoughts are like bubbles in boiling water. The bubbles suddenly appear (your thoughts suddenly appear) then, almost immediately, they disappear. Can you imagine the frustration you’d have if you tried to hold on to those bubbles? That would be stressful, right? That’s why thoughts are stressful when they’re not let go of. You can picture your thought being inside a bubble as you let it go and watch it rise into the sky, until it’s gone from sight.

Everything that you experience through your five senses becomes a single thought. Sometimes they come at you rapid fire, forming a group of thoughts. For purposes of letting go, think of groups as one thought. You observe it arise. You acknowledge what the thought is, or the feeling it triggers, and you let it go. If the thought is allowed to stay, new thoughts will stem from it, and you’ll open the opportunity to manipulate it. If you held on to a few bad thoughts in a row, you might consider it as being in a bad mood or having a bad day. The truth is, moods only exist when you don’t let go. When you let twenty-three bad thoughts go, they weren’t yours and your day isn’t ruined. You remain happy. With bad thoughts especially, you’ll be completely convinced that you need to keep thinking about it and not let it go. What you’re subconsciously doing, is looking for relief from feeling so bad. And rather than being responsible for your own feelings, you blame others, or say you have bad luck. You didn’t have a choice. It’s been conditioned into you, your entire life. Now you have a choice. Now you have relief! Now you can let it go.

It’s interesting to note that what ever thoughts you let go of, the complete opposite takes its place. If you let go of a bad thought, a good thought takes its place. If you let go of a sad thought, a happy thought takes its place. If you let go of anger, peacefulness takes its place. If you let go of jealousy, contentment takes its place. If you let go of fear, bravery takes its place. If you let go of disbelief, belief takes its place. There’s one exception to this phenomena, and that’s if you let go of a happy thought, nothing changes. You remain happy. That’s the TRUE YOU. Letting go of happy thoughts will help you understand and your doubt will be replaced with conviction.

It’s extremely important that you let go of happy thoughts and feelings. Let go of all thoughts. You may think that letting go of all thoughts will make you just an empty shell of a person. You may think that letting go of your feelings and emotions will make you just a zombie who doesn’t care about anything. That’s the FALSE YOU thinking these things. It’s simply not true. Your mind will be free and clear to have much more intense feelings.

Resist the temptation to hold on to happy thoughts. Let’s say you get a thought, "Vacation is only three weeks away," and you try to hold on to it. New thoughts stem from that such as "That’s going to be so relaxing!" "Just beach and sun!" "No schedules." "No pressure." "That’s going to be great." "I can’t wait." You’re off in a daydream and it feels great. And then, CRASH! It ends and you’re back in stress city. You end up disappointed and sad. If you had let it go, you would have enjoyed the thought that "Vacation is only three weeks away!"

and that’s it. It ends and you’re not disappointed or sad. The FALSE YOU has been conditioned to seek pleasure of the senses. You never knew that you had happiness with you without trying. My words, here, won’t be enough to convince you of this. You will soon understand.

Observe, acknowledge, let it go. If you forget to do it or have any difficulty with any of these three steps, just loop right back to observe, acknowledge, let it go. Most people have fears, doubts and skepticism, but if you let them go, you’ll be left with The TRUE YOU who is unconditionally happy and stress-free.

Live in the here and now and let go of all thoughts. That’s the simple truth of how to be happy and stress-free.. It’s a beautiful thing.

Kurt Arrow, Personal Achievement Consultant. The first 3 days of my 12 day program can be seen at my website, happiness-for-sale.com so stop in for a visit today.

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