How To Step Out Of Your Sexual Comfort Zone

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Marina Elden
  • Published July 22, 2022
  • Word count 922

Sex can and should be an exciting and fun endeavor, whether it’s solo play or with a partner. That being said, it can get boring or even stressful if you’re not fully comfortable with all the intricacies of sex.

Whether you’ve stumbled upon this article when looking for ways to spice up your sex life or you’ve found that your masturbation sessions have gotten a bit samey, we’ll guide you through expanding your comfort zone and reaching sexual freedom!

Setting a Goal

Before you get started with our various tips to step out of your comfort zone (and believe us, they’re great tips), you’ll want to set a goal. This can be vague, such as trying out five new positions with your partner or three new kinds of play. You can also go for a specific goal, such as trying anal or having a threesome.

If you’re doing this for the sake of solo play, you already have a goal - have more fun playing with yourself.

Define Your Comfort Zone

Next up, you’ll need to find where your comfort zone ends - think about the most extreme thing you’d be comfortable with doing right now, and then one-up it slightly. For example, if your comfort zone ends at fingering, something right outside of it would be using a dildo or a vibrator.

When you’ve got a good idea of what’s barely inside and barely outside your comfort zone, you’ll want to ease yourself through that barrier. That’s where the next step comes in.

Ease Yourself Through Your Comfort Zone

You can do this part either with someone or by yourself - it might be easier with a partner, as you’ll have someone to push you over the edge, but it might feel safer by yourself since you can quickly stop at any point if it becomes too much. At the end of the day, it’s your choice to make!

Start safely inside your comfort zone - with something you’re easily comfortable with. Slowly move towards the edge you defined earlier, and don’t rush. You might be tempted to jump straight over the wall of your comfort zone, but that’ll more than likely end with discomfort and shock.

Stick to the edge until you’re at your most heated, and then make the jump. Don’t push too far - what’s important is that you’ve broken that clearly defined barrier, and you’re now squarely beyond what was your limit mere moments ago. Finish off the steamy session you’ve got going, and then think and talk about what just happened - even if you’re not with a partner, there’s no shame in having a reassuring chat with yourself.

Expand Your Comfort Zone

This is where our major split between those of you going through this guide solo and with a partner happens, so we’ll split this section into two subsections - for solo players and those who prefer expanding their comfort zone in co-op!


Now that you’ve broken your comfort zone’s barrier and know how to ease yourself into new territory, you can start expanding your horizons in any direction you want.

First, try out various categories on porn sites or check out NSFW content on social media like Twitter and Reddit - they’ve got plenty of stuff for every niche imaginable, so you can get a taste of everything with the click of a button.

Next up, try various types of solo play - bring in an exotic toy or two, such as a thrusting dildo for those of you with a vagina or an automatic masturbator if you’re endowed with a penis. If you’re looking for something quick and cheap, you can try out stuff like temperature play - just get a couple of ice cubes, and you’re well on the way to pleasure city.

Also on the rise is the trend of buying and sniffing used panties - if you’re attracted to female smells or think you might be, this is a great way to try out something new with no real risk and at a pretty low cost.

With a Partner

You’ve got an easier route to follow with a partner than solo, especially if they’re already kinkier than you are. Simply ask them what they’d like to try and ease yourself into it, and you’ll be expanding your comfort zone with little effort.

If your partner is expanding their comfort zone alongside you, simply try out all the steps we have listed for those flying solo, but focus more on each other along the way.

When watching porn, try to get ideas for things you can do together and look for inspiration to spice up your sexual encounters. Buy sex toys you can use on each other, such as vibrators, or ones you can use together, such as double-sided dildos.


Expanding your comfort zone is by no means easy, but it doesn’t have to be scary either - follow our tips, and you’ll probably slip right through that barrier while having way too much fun to notice - like losing your virginity all over again!

We hope you’ll make the best of the new experiences you get by stepping out of your comfort zone, and we wish you the best of luck on your steamy journey.

Marina Elden is an experienced sexual wellness author and writer that has been published in leading online dating resources. She currently works with Kinkie and helps break down taboos surrounding sex and sexual well-being. You can learn more about her work at:

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Article comments

Bonniebell<3 · 1 year ago
When it comes to intimacy,I've had many opportunities to engage in it before but i've never actually gotten to that point.This article really helped me build up a courage and start working on myself