Abstract

This paper critically examines the online backlash faced by Nigerian actress Chisom Steve Ogbonnaya following invasive and derogatory comments about her reproductive status. Drawing from feminist literary criticism and digital discourse analysis, the study interrogates how patriarchal expectations are internalized and weaponized by women against other women, particularly within the performative space of social media. Using Chisom’s emotionally charged responses and the offensive comments she received as case data, the paper explores the linguistic violence embedded in seemingly casual inquiries about pregnancy and childbearing. The analysis highlights how digital platforms, while often celebrated for fostering feminist solidarity, can become sites of toxic surveillance, emotional abuse, and gendered cruelty. The work situates these dynamics within broader cultural norms that conflate womanhood with fertility, and it calls for a redefinition of online sisterhood—one rooted in empathy, emotional intelligence, and respect for personal timelines. Ultimately, the paper challenges the superficiality of slogans like “women support women,” arguing that true feminist praxis must include accountability for how women reinforce patriarchal ideologies in digital spaces.

Keywords: Digital feminism, Cyberbullying, Internalized patriarchy, Reproductive policing, Social media discourse, Online sisterhood.

Introduction

In the age of digital connectivity, social media has emerged as both a platform for feminist discourse and a paradoxical space where women often experience gender-based harassment. Particularly alarming is the growing trend of bullying female celebrities shortly after marriage, with strangers, often other women, demanding instant proof of motherhood. In Nigeria, this practice has evolved into a ritual of emotional violence, popularly referred to as “womb watching.” The expectation is not merely cultural but now digital and immediate. These social media pressures reveal an unsettling contradiction: the very women who should be allies in feminist solidarity are increasingly becoming enforcers of patriarchal timelines.

This contradiction came into sharp focus when Nollywood actress Chisom Ogbomnaya Steve recently went public with her ordeal. Married to a naval officer in August 2023, Chisom has since been a victim of invasive digital surveillance regarding her reproductive status. She took to social media on July 11, 2025, just a day prior, to voice her ordeal. She lamented the psychological toll of receiving insults and curses from other women in her inbox for not having a child yet. This digital intrusion reflects a deeper sociocultural problem, where marriage is seen not as a personal journey but as a communal spectacle. The public reaction to her post also showed a spectrum of responses, from empathy to further ridicule, exposing the fragile nature of digital sisterhood.

Feminist theorists have long warned about the persistence of internalized patriarchy among women. bell hooks, in her classic work Feminism is for Everybody, insists that “patriarchy has no gender” (hooks 63). This assertion finds resonance in the Chisom Steve case, where women weaponize their shared gender identity to uphold the same patriarchal norms that feminism seeks to dismantle. Instead of celebrating Chisom’s personal timeline, many women on social media assume the role of enforcers, projecting cultural expectations about motherhood onto her body.

Social media, once envisioned as a democratic space for feminist activism, has become a double-edged sword. As Nancy Baym argues, “new media can amplify both liberatory and oppressive discourses” (Baym 56). While platforms like Instagram and Facebook offer women greater control over their public image, they also expose them to intensified scrutiny. For celebrities like Chisom, whose life is already under public gaze, the digital amplification of personal attacks adds an unbearable emotional weight. Her decision to cry out on social media underscores the seriousness of the issue.

Moreover, the policing of women's wombs on social media is a contemporary digital extension of historical narratives where a woman’s worth is measured by her ability to bear children. In literary works such as Buchi Emecheta’s The Joys of Motherhood, the pain and pressure of societal expectations are laid bare. These themes are now performed daily on social media platforms in the form of bullying, judgment, and unsolicited advice. Chisom Steve’s case is simply one among many that highlight the evolving modes of oppression in the digital age, where abuse is delivered through private messages rather than public forums.

The fact that most of the bullies are women adds a complex layer to the feminist movement. It raises serious questions about the internal consistency of feminist praxis in Nigeria and across the globe. If feminism calls for bodily autonomy, mutual respect, and emotional empathy among women, then how do we explain the vitriol aimed at newly married women who delay childbearing? Social media has revealed a fracture in the assumed solidarity among women, where envy, moral policing, and projection often override collective consciousness.

This paper argues that the pressure placed on women like Chisom Steve is a form of digital patriarchy sustained by female agents. Using literary feminism and digital media theory, it seeks to unpack how social media bullying reflects internalized misogyny and performative feminism. By using Chisom’s personal experience as a case study, the paper aims to explore the contradictions that emerge when women become participants in their own oppression. This phenomenon calls for a renewed feminist consciousness that extends into our digital engagements.

Ultimately, this study is not only about Chisom Steve but about the many women whose timelines, fertility, and personal choices are under siege in the public eye. It is about redefining what feminism looks like in the social media age. It is about accountability, solidarity, and the urgent need to shift from policing women’s bodies to protecting their autonomy, both online and offline.

Theoretical Framework

Standpoint Theory

This paper is grounded in Standpoint Theory, a feminist theoretical model that foregrounds the lived experiences of marginalized individuals as crucial sites of knowledge production. Developed by scholars such as Sandra Harding and Patricia Hill Collins, Standpoint Theory argues that people situated in oppressed positions, especially women, have unique and epistemologically valuable perspectives that challenge dominant ideologies. It asserts that knowledge is socially situated and that the perspectives of those historically excluded from power offer critical insights into systemic injustice. In the context of Chisom Steve’s experience, her standpoint as a newly married, publicly visible woman subjected to reproductive bullying becomes a powerful entry point into understanding how digital misogyny operates within female communities.

According to Patricia Hill Collins, “Black feminist thought offers specialized knowledge and a perspective on social relations that is not otherwise available” (Collins 28). While Collins refers specifically to race and gender, her assertion is applicable to the Nigerian social media landscape where women like Chisom, though seemingly privileged by fame, are doubly marginalized by gender and public scrutiny. Standpoint Theory compels us to take Chisom's personal narrative seriously, not as a celebrity anecdote but as feminist data. Her tears, frustrations, and emotional pain are epistemic evidence of the oppressive power of cultural motherhood expectations, now weaponized in digital formats. Her standpoint forces a rethinking of who gets to define womanhood and on what terms.

The power of Standpoint Theory also lies in its challenge to mainstream, top-down models of knowledge. It privileges the margins and allows feminist scholarship to be rooted in authentic, lived realities rather than abstract theorizing. In this light, the paper does not treat Chisom’s case as an isolated incident but as a pattern of silencing and pressure faced by many women across digital Nigeria. From influencers to everyday users, women are increasingly being judged by invisible timelines and public expectations that do not consider medical, emotional, or personal factors. Standpoint Theory insists that only by listening to these voices can we create transformative knowledge.

In applying Standpoint Theory, the paper also exposes the limitations of a universal sisterhood narrative in feminist discourse. Feminism must account for the complexities of privilege, envy, and performativity among women themselves. Chisom's bullies are not men. They are women, often citing moral superiority, tradition, or even concern. This reveals that solidarity is not automatic, and feminism must be deliberate in dismantling the intra-gender hierarchies that allow such bullying to flourish. Digital platforms, while offering voice, also reproduce these hierarchies unless critically engaged.

Furthermore, the relevance of Standpoint Theory in the social media age is profound. With the rise of personalized content, DMs, and algorithmic visibility, digital spaces amplify certain narratives while silencing others. Chisom Steve’s choice to speak out disrupts the silence imposed by shame and cultural policing. Her standpoint becomes a form of resistance, turning personal pain into collective awareness. The screenshots of her private messages, which this paper will present in a later section, are not just evidence of abuse but symbols of a broader culture of silence that feminism must urgently confront.

Ultimately, Standpoint Theory reminds us that knowledge begins where we choose to listen. If we ignore the lived experiences of women like Chisom Steve, we risk creating a feminism that is abstract, elitist, and disconnected from reality. Her story is a cry not only for empathy but for re-examination. The digital age demands that we expand our feminist frameworks to include online behavior, internalized misogyny, and the micro-aggressions of everyday female interactions. Only then can we build a truly inclusive, empathetic, and liberatory feminist movement.

Case Presentation: Chisom Steve and Womb Watchers

On July 11, 2025, Nollywood actress Chisom Ogbomnaya Steve broke her silence on Instagram to address a series of deeply personal attacks she had been receiving in her direct messages and comment sections. Married to a naval officer on August 18, 2023, Chisom had faced mounting pressure from fans and critics who believed she should already have conceived. Her emotional outburst on social media revealed that she had recently experienced a miscarriage and had been enduring the psychological trauma in silence. Rather than receiving support, however, she was mocked and labeled barren by female followers. This act of public grieving transformed into an unfiltered case of intra-gender harassment, rooted in cultural expectations about marriage, fertility, and womanhood.

One of the most prominent messages that triggered her public reaction came from a follower who sent her a private message asking:

“Why are uuu not yet pregnant... abi are uuu barren??”

This seemingly simple but invasive question unleashed a torrent of pain. In response, Chisom wrote:

“I'm not barren, I actually had miscarriage and I've been battling with the pain of losing a child but as you found it fun to mock me, in your time of life, you shall be called barren.”

She continued by placing a series of curses on the sender, invoking divine punishment and emotional rage, writing:

“YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE... With all the pains and burden of my heart, with the pressure you tried to mount on me, today I turn it all on you as a curse that you will forever carry until you leave this world.”

This exchange highlights the raw emotion behind Chisom’s silence and the violence encoded in unsolicited comments about a woman’s fertility. The language used—“barren,” “witch,” and “bitter soul”—reveals a deep-seated cultural bias that continues to treat motherhood as the ultimate validation of femininity. Chisom’s response, while harsh, is a reaction to this cultural and emotional violence. She had endured enough.

Another follower who mocked her situation later returned with an apology:

“I'm sorry I didn't know it will offend uuu 🙏🙏🙏 I only asked a question I'm not mocking uuu. Pls forgive me.”

Chisom, however, was unrelenting in her pain and replied:

“For a girl like you to try to make mockery of a situation you know nothing about? For someone who has never offended you? You will suffer! It will never be well with you. Amen!”

While her response may be seen as disproportionate by some, it is rooted in accumulated trauma. As feminist scholars have noted, language itself becomes a weapon when the body is violated by words (Ahmed 145). This applies even more acutely in contexts where reproductive capability is weaponized as a social and moral measurement.

Several public comments echoed the invasive tone of the direct messages:

• “One year no issue no child”

• “Monsemunja achee why you didn't gate pregnant???”

• “One year anniversary without pikin na wo”

• “Even this one wey never wash her self well too. Chai people wey never get pikin Dey try 🥺”

These comments reinforce a digital form of body policing, where timelines for motherhood are not only expected but enforced through public shaming. The term “womb watchers” is not metaphorical—it is practiced digitally by women who believe they are entitled to updates on another woman’s fertility. As Chisom’s experience demonstrates, this surveillance extends beyond curiosity into cruelty.

Interestingly, several women came to Chisom’s defense, revealing the duality of female responses:

• “You owe nobody an explanation my dear... when the time is right God will make it happen.”

• “Miscarriage or no miscarriage God's time is the best.”

• “The God that created the heaven and earth has healed your womb.”

These comments, while empathetic, still subtly reinforce the primacy of motherhood as the goal. Even the defense is couched in the language of eventual fertility rather than bodily autonomy.

One user, Felix Juliet, summed up the contradictory nature of the discourse:

“So coming from a place of love na to use the word barren? Ehn? Na her reply self na from a place of love. Life na turn by turn... Of all question to ask a person, you chose to show sample of your madness and guess what? You met someone madder!”

This mixture of sarcasm and truth encapsulates the social media landscape for women like Chisom Steve. Public space becomes a theater of expectation, judgment, and retaliation. The insults, curses, and apologies form a cycle that repeats for countless other women in the public eye.

What makes this case significant for feminist inquiry is not only the cruelty of the messages but the gender of their authors. These are women attacking a woman, reinforcing the argument of bell hooks that patriarchy is not a male-only project. The incident also supports Patricia Hill Collins’s observation that oppression is not only systemic but internalized and reproduced through everyday language and behavior.

In the following section, this paper will examine relevant literature that traces the historical and digital policing of women’s reproductive roles. The Chisom Steve case is not merely sensational or emotional; it is a data point in a larger cultural pattern, one in which feminism must intervene with both clarity and urgency.

Conclusion

The tragic irony of women policing other women’s reproductive timelines in the digital age lays bare a deeper crisis of internalized patriarchy and performative feminism. The case of Chisom Steve Ogbonnaya is not an isolated incident but a window into the daily assaults many women face under the gaze of social media surveillance, particularly in cultures where womanhood is still narrowly defined by marriage and childbearing. Her painful encounter reflects the broader socio-cultural and psychological burden that female celebrities and everyday women shoulder, often at the hands of fellow women who should ideally stand in solidarity with them.

Literary feminism demands that we interrogate not only systems of male dominance but also the ways in which patriarchal values are reinforced by women themselves, sometimes unconsciously. The weaponization of language—words like "barren," sarcastic jabs about "one-year no issue," and unsolicited gynecological concern—exemplifies how digital discourse becomes a battleground for shaming, exclusion, and emotional violence. These utterances, though textual, are deeply embodied, carving wounds that extend beyond the screen and into the intimate realities of loss, trauma, and identity.

Moreover, the digital space, once envisioned as a platform for liberation and community-building, is now marked by toxicity and moral policing. The same online platforms that amplify feminist voices have also become channels through which regressive expectations are recycled and enforced. This duality presents a challenge and a call to action. It urges feminist scholars, writers, and activists to reimagine how solidarity can function in a space rife with surveillance, cruelty, and masked misogyny.

To conclude, Chisom’s story is a reminder of the urgent need to restore emotional intelligence, empathy, and ethical engagement in digital interactions. If feminism is to remain a transformative force, it must confront the contradictions within its own fold, especially the complicity of women in the perpetuation of gendered oppression. The struggle for bodily autonomy, freedom from judgment, and respect for personal timelines must extend to online behavior. Anything short of that turns feminism into a hollow slogan, rather than the liberatory praxis it was meant to be.

Works Cited

Ahmed, Sara. The Cultural Politics of Emotion. Routledge, 2004.

Collins, Patricia Hill. Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment. 2nd ed., Routledge, 2000.

hooks, bell. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. South End Press, 2000.

Steve, Chisom. “Instagram Story.” Instagram, 11 July 2025, www.thefamousnaija.com/2024/03/pictures-of-chisom-steve-husband.html.

Felix, Juliet. Comment on Chisom Steve’s post. Instagram, 11 July 2025.