Get an Officiating Contract!

By Maureen Thomson

It's happened again--another phone call from a frantic bride who is due to be married this weekend and her officiant has gone missing, bailed, or simply flaked out for their wedding day. "Can we provide someone at this late notice?" the anguished couple always wants to know. (Note: oftentimes we can).

When I receive one of these calls, after attempting to calm the frazzled bride or groom, I always ask if they had a contract with the errant officiant. I'm amazed that more often than not, they don't. "Did you give them any deposit to hold their services, I ask? The answer, once again, is generally no.

Why is it that a couple who wouldn't think of hiring a caterer, DJ or photographer without a deposit and contract will neglect to apply the same procedure to their wedding officiant? I can understand the desire to want to omit a contract (maybe) if you are planning to have your parish clergy person (who may have baptized you, married your parents, conducted the funeral for your grandparents and came to Sunday dinner once a month) perform the ceremony. But why would you overlook this step when hiring a professional for a quality service that's--let's face it--pretty darn integral to a successful wedding day experience? If your florist or videographer doesn't show, it would be upsetting, but the day could go on. But if your officiant doesn’t make his or her scheduled appearance, you are ceremonially screwed!

I can only assume that this tendency to be lax in obtaining a contract for officiating services is a residual leftover from the days when it was a foregone conclusion that a clergy person known to the couple (i.e. from their place of worship) would be the officiator of the wedding service. The agreement was based upon trust, and cemented by the celebrant marking the date in his calendar and scheduling the couple's premarital counseling. To seek a written contract from a revered member of the clergy would be tantamount to insuring the damnation of one's immortal soul!

However, the spectrum of people who are licensed to perform wedding ceremonies has expanded dramatically over the years. No longer are brides and grooms limited to being wed by their family minister, priest, or rabbi, or perhaps a judicial officer. Some states allow notary publics to legally perform weddings; many others recognize online "ordinations" as legal; still others give one-day credentials to a layperson for the purpose of performing a wedding ceremony. There is no governing body assuring the equivalent of the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval for those who say they are licensed wedding officiants.

This offers the potential to ruin your day from any number of whackos, quick-buck artists and well-intended individuals who think that performing wedding ceremonies is a lucrative part-time business for when they are not doing their full time "real" job. (And while I'm on the subject, don't hire your officiant off Craig's List, unless they have some documentation, experience and references to back up their claim of being a professional wedding officiant. This is your wedding day, for gosh sake! You're not buying a used car or renting an apartment!)

A pro will have a contract, complete with terms, and will expect a monetary deposit (usually nonrefundable) to guarantee their services. The contract will specify the wedding date, the time of their arrival, the services they will offer and the payment to which you've all you've agreed. There should be a "what if" clause that stipulates a backup for the officiant in the case of an emergency. And all parties should sign, thereby making it legally binding.

A contract, while not guaranteeing a picture-perfect wedding ceremony, will certainly go a long way to ensure that you won't be the one making that frantic phone call seeking a last-minute replacement for your AWOL wedding officiant. If there's no written contract, my advice is to look elsewhere, even if the price is slightly more. It could stave off a wedding day disaster.