Every relationship goes through stages. At the beginning everything seems so easy and perfect, and as time goes by we find ourselves feeling unhappy, distant from our partner or fighting all the time. There are certain dangerous points in every relationship based on how long you have been together. Knowing about them can help you understand and conquer any shortcomings you might be experiencing in your relationship.

The first stage is six weeks, also known as the time of maturing. So approximately after six weeks, she completely unexpectedly realizes that he is no Brad Pitt, that his brain size is inversely proportional to the size of his muscles, and the poems that he supposedly wrote himself are actually copied from Shakespeare. Disappointment is the name for this phenomenon when the pink glasses she used to look through at him are broken with a snap and the Prince Charming suddenly turns into a milksop. The person in love values the feeling of being in love that was awakened in him/her more than the actual person that they love. Sometimes even a little trifle such as the wrong touch in bed, his admiration of some popular modern singer or her completely innocent joke about his male merits, is enough for the relationship to start falling apart. If the feeling of being in love actually grows into real love, then such trifle things are usually not even noticed. Will the love story continue? It all depends on how big the difference between illusion and reality is and on whether he and she will decide that this relationship is better than what each one of them experienced before.

The next dangerous point is eight months, or the "is it a love affair or a serious relationship" stage. After an almost full year one of the partners notices that the other partner has completely accepted him/her into their heart. At this stage ideally the love affair grows into a solid and serious relationship. One of the characteristics of this period is making plans to take a romantic vacation together. Each partner gives up for good the previous love objects that were kept as fallback option. If asked will they now be together forever both partners answer yes. However, this is also the time when many couples break up because it turns out that they are incapable of sharing not only good times but everyday routine as well. Problems at work, bad mood, rainy weekend, unwashed hair, stomach ache and dull family holidays… The routine sucks in. The danger of one of the partners getting scared by it and running away during this stage of the relationship is quite big.

The next point is two and a half years, the time when the sexual trap slams shut. "Boogie woogie" - this is how the feeling of being in love has been described by the famous English writer Henry Miller. Exactly after two and a half years the production of the hormones of happiness and joy, phenylethylamine and oxytocin, starts to decline and along with it the sexual attraction starts to fade as well. In order for the hormonal explosion to happen again, you should… fall in love again. All in all, it is highly probable for the partners to run into separate corners, and it is a tough break for the relatively new relationship. However, the first alienation does not mean that you should break up immediately. It is only necessary to learn to keep a distance while maintaining the closeness at the same time. After a two-year symbiosis each person should have their own external experiences. Your own friends, your own activities, and weekends spent separately, can help become close again. It only makes it more interesting. Each partner will bring something into the relationship that they can share with each other.

After four years the relationship almost literally enters the period of the menopause of love. A lot of couples break up during this time. According to the anthropologist Helen Fisher, it is the biological heritage of the dawn of the humanity. After four years a child (as a rule a couple already has kids) does not require as much attention from the parents and can be put into the care of grandmas and nannies. There are no reasons for the parents to stay together and each patterns their behavior in a new way, becomes intimate with a new partner and has new babies. And this happens every four years. This principle has penetrated the human nature so much that it still takes place even if there are no kids in the family. Some psychologists interpret it a little bit different. When a child is born, a loved woman becomes a mother, a loved man becomes the provider of the family. The standstill prevails in the bedroom. This new distribution of roles is a tough test for love. But even without children, after four years of creating their nest the family collapses. They have been decorating their house for months and now when the last vase or curtain has been bought, they can not imagine what to talk about and what else to come up with.

The seventh year of the relationship is also known as the Bermuda triangle. So why is it that a lot of couples do not withstand the seventh year of being together? This is still the subject of argument among sociologists, psychologists, and doctors. And since there is no distinct explanation that has been found, this period of time is referred to as the mysterious seventh year. In fairy tales and myths the number seven is a magical number. The doctors talk about our bodies renewing every seven years. It is possible that the human mind requires the beginning of a new relationship every seven years. Often couples who want to split up at this time can not even explain why they are actually doing so. After seven years as a rule the life has settled in its ordinary grooves, the future is clear, and everything is ok at home. But the tight confines of stability become unbearable, especially for women, who have been staying at home for a long time, have been taking care of the household and the kids, and now want to go back to work for a change. They discover that there is still a chance, and maybe the last one, to build a career, besides just diapers, dishes, laundry and aerobics on Wednesdays. The prospect of the professional growth stirs up the female self-esteem. The former housewife wants to become an equal partner in her home, and many men do not like the sound of that.

The twelve year mark is often referred to as the last danger. Unfaithfulness, break ups, life problems, lack of money and professional failures... It would seem that after twelve years of being together everything or at least almost everything has been experienced and the test for stability has been passed with flying colors. So why do the veterans of family life still part with each other? There are no specific reasons for it, but just one of them all of a sudden starts thinking: "Is this really it? I imagined my life differently". Women get jealous of their girlfriends that got "more lucky" with their husbands, men want to start everything all over again. It is now or never! This midlife crisis might not be the last crisis to come, but it is definitely the most dangerous and the most difficult one.

If you've made past this point, then you are probably on the right track and only have many years of happiness ahead of you, if you are coming up on one of these then you now know about these milestones and can prepare for them.