We are not perfect and it is quite normal to have one or two bluders in our love life, but there are times when we truly make a huge unforgivable mistake. Most of the time, this mistake will be the souce of a big event: breakup. Once she leave us, we hate ourselves and trying desperately to get her back. In this case, most guys do it in the wrong way and end up drive her further from them.

So what should I do to get her back without making her hate me even more?

1. Don’t lower yourself in front of her

Yes, you're the one who made the mistakes and you're the reason for the break up, but that doesn’t constitute any reason for you to come and grovel in front of her. Yes, you need to ask for forgiveness, yet that’s not the way it should be done.

By continuously begging, acting desperately, and groveling before her, you throw away your dignity as a man. She may decide to forgive you, but you absolutely won’t win her heart for the second time. Absolutely no normal girls would like to date "a guy who isn’t a guy anymore".

2. Give it time

Right after the breakup, all that you can think is how to fix things as fast as possible. That is how men think and act; we approach problems with logic and trying to solve it right away. However, it’s not like that for girls. Just after anything major and sad took place, they need time to straighten out their emotions and calm their thoughts. Bother them in those times and I assure you’ll get hysterical screams and cold shoulder.

Give her time. Vanish from her life for some time. Don’t even attempt to make any kind of contact, including phone, messages, email, or whatever else.

3. Initiate contact

Throughout her "contemplation" time, she may recognize that you are a person whom she couldn’t live without and decide to offer you another chance. Or she decides that you’re a jerk and her choice to dump you was right.

In either case, she won’t be the one to initiate the first contact; that's YOUR JOB. Use any strategy which you think will work. Bump into her somewhere, call her, send her an email, send her a letter, or other way that you can think of.

When you find a way to initiate contact, place yourself as a friend, not as an ex boyfriend or somebody who aims to win her heart once again. Show that the breakup doesn’t affect you a bit, you've got a great life, and if that issue comes into the conversation, say that you’re thankful that she made the right choice back then.

4. Re-introduce the chemistry

After you manage to make her comfortable around you once again, it’s time for you to act. There's nothing special here, simply think of it as redo the process from the start. Ask her out once more and take it slow. Bring her to her preferred places and focus on her favorite subjects (which you should know more than anyone else).

These are the right things to do, but do not expect instant result. You can't put some effort today and win her back tomorrow, that’s not going to happen. Sometimes you might find a competitor, but that’s not a reason to rush things up. The key here is advancing slowly as that is the only way to win her trust and heart back.