When couples have been together for a long period of time the spark tends to die away a little. Couples live normal lives together and they also have a social life. This social life can be as a group including the both of you and on occasions (sometimes too often) one of you stays at home while the other goes out with different friends. A perfect example of this is a guy will join his friends to watch the football where the girl may not be interested. On the other side of it, a guy may not be interested in going for coffee with the girls, so he will stay home or do something else. The question is, how do we find an acceptable agreement?

There is no harm in having the odd night out or afternoon get together. It only becomes a problem when it is happening on a regular basis and it is not involving your partner. If this is the case it will cause arguments. Have you ever wanted to do something, meet friends or go out and you have stayed home and said nothing rather than possibly cause a heated discussion?

When you next decide to go out, why not offer your partner the chance to go along with you? Yes, your partner might not think standing in a bar shouting at a football screen is the perfect way to spend time, as indeed a coffee afternoon might not be for the other, but it is about being together and sharing the experience. Sometimes it is nice to know where your partner goes when you are not together. It can be comforting to know some of each others friends, even if you only see them once in a while.

The key here is not to abuse it. Make an arrangement once a week or once a fortnight, it's enough. If one of you is trying to pull this stunt three and four times a week it will cause (and understandably so) a problem. Yes we all like to go out and have fun and we are never expected to live in each others pockets. It takes only a little thought and consideration to find the right balance.

Of course there is always the issue of one of you (or both of you) not liking each others friends. This can go into a big area of conversation. The main thing here is to try to accept your partner's friends for what they are. Be polite with them and do not cause issues. On the other foot, if you know your partner doesn't like one of your friends, do not keep bringing that person into the picture on a regular basis.

All that is needed is a little sit down and let each other know what they like to do. Yes, make an arrangement to watch the football once a week, but do not make it a three nights a week habit. Go for your coffee mornings and a chat, again, once a week is enough.

Always accept the offer to go out with your friends with this in mind. If you persistently turn offers down because of your partner you will slowly be excluded from your group of friends. This is where there will be resentment.

All you need to do is talk about it and find the right balance for both of you!!