Cultivating self confidence comes instantly to a few people, if you're like me though and aren't one of those lucky ones, then you have to set a goal and obtain a program to reach it to have more self confidence. Luckily for us, self confidence is know how that you can learn to expand just like riding a bicycle or driving a car or truck.

So, your goal was to be able to drive a car/truck and to go where ever you wish to. The very first time you got in the driver seat was probably one of the most overwhelming but exciting time. But to drive at full speed or to merge into lanes, first you have to be taught how to drive on surface streets. To break it down, one of the 1st step to learning to drive anywhere would be learning about the functions of a car. You have to know what gear you have to be in. Then, the first time you drive might be in an big parking lot where there aren't a lot of cars around that you may run into. Then as you get more confidence behind the wheel, you can begin drive on little streets, then on bigger streets with other people on the streets. After spending more time driving a car you will certainly attain more confidence in driving and will be able to drive at freeway speed on the road.

Developing self confidence in public speaking or in dating or in performing in front of people is the same. Come up with a list of action items to build your self confidence.

The goal of self confidence in dating:To build dating confidence: Begin with talking. Whoever you meet during the day, talk to them. The guy at the bus stop. The point is to get used to talking to the opposite sex, just say hello and ask how their day is going. Go to a group event with that special someone. Group events make it less unnerving to be with your date. Double dates may be the next step. This is a more private setting where it feels more like a date instead of hanging out with friends. You can get used to dating this person. Going to more dates with give you confidence with dating. They will give you positive feedback and it will bolster your self confidence. Ask them for suggestions to help you in the future. They usually have had a few drinks and/or are in a sociable mood. There is less emotional stress performing in front of them. Find a local bar and get a gig there. This is a larger group of people to perform for. But since, it is a bar or restaurant, they are not all only watching you, making it less stressful. With many of these performances in your resume, you will be ready to confidently perform.

Other strategies to consider to build self confidence:

Learn from you failures.

Be assertive.

Don't think you are not good enough.

Don't worry about what others think.

Learn to sell something.