Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Christopher B. Fields
  • Published August 31, 2020
  • Word count 759

Surprise! Yes, it is!

A common issue I come across from individuals transitioning from ONE relationship to ANOTHER, is that they completely SKIP the most important part!


For starters, HEALING is essential to regaining emotional balance in your life. If you don’t PAUSE, CHILL OUT, and let time do its magic, then you will only transfer that suppressed PAIN to a new person.

This is NOT fair to them, NOR YOU.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, during this time it is VITAL that you work on your FLAWS, and your current process of seeking partners.

Yes… we ALL have flaws.

Yes… we ALL need a tune-up from time to time.

Yes… you also FAILED in this relationship.

Here’s why you’re equally responsible for the relationship’s failure;

The selection process for how you seek NEW partners is clearly in need of some work. Which RED FLAGS are you pretending do not exist? What compromises did you make that ended up backfiring? Were there children involved? Did they have uncontrollable baggage from previous relationships/marriages? ANALYZE which areas fell apart, and WHAT lead up to the damage.

Aside from your selection process, you undoubtedly have your OWN flaws in relationships. As I said, we ALL DO. But what are yours? How did it affect your previous relationship? What about your relationship before that? Is there a COMMON theme from each person you have split ways with? It’s quite possible that there are some underlying TRUTHS in there somewhere. Again… ANALYZE. Ask others what they think should be changed in regard to HOW YOU DATE. Lastly, begin to WORK on these things. You can only accomplish GROWTH in these areas while you are SINGLE. Otherwise, you’re guaranteed to transfer those issues to the NEXT relationship, and the next, and the next, and the next…


Yes, there are different types of people in the world, OF COURSE! Some are very self-reliant, while others DEPEND on leaning on their second half. There isn’t one type of person that is better than the other, HOWEVER, it’s imperative that you master your own INDEPENDENCE. When you’re capable of relying on your OWN emotions, and your OWN thought patterns, the hidden power of “breaking up” will affect you a lot less.

How many men and women are UNHAPPY and EMOTIONALLY DRAINED due to their inability to be ALONE?

How many men and women RISK long-term damage because they choose not to deal with short-term pain?

It’s extremely DAMAGING, especially the longer that you are TRAPPED.

At this point, the phrase “take a break” should have crossed your mind. Let’s pull that APART.

I’m not a big believer in “taking breaks”. If you’re emotionally SPLIT enough to “take a break”, then it’s going to take a BIT longer to repair than you’re initially imaging. Furthermore, taking a break is only HALF of a decision. The decision, of course, is whether to call it quits or NOT. You’re using that cop-out to hit a PAUSE BUTTON on life.

Well… there is no such thing as a “PAUSE BUTTON”. You’re either moving forward, or you’re moving backward. There is no in-between.

…. and let’s get REAL here. Most people only present the option of “taking a break” to RAISE emotions from their partner. It’s a TEST, almost.

“Let me see how much they REALLY care”.

It’s unhealthy, and this attitude may be one of your biggest flaws.


Speaking of being “single”, there is a BIG misconception in the world that devoting your LIFE to another human being is a MUST, and is just another part of life.

Well… that may be true for SOME people, but surely not ALL.

Some individuals absolutely LOVE being alone.

It’s where they’re MOST happy. It’s where they’re MOST productive.

However, society is constantly jamming a specific ideology down our throat.

They’re not ASKING you how you would like to live, they’re TELLING you.

Do this>Do this>Do that>This is normal>This is not>ETC.


It’s quite alright to be DIFFERENT.

It’s quite alright to be SINGLE.

It’s quite alright to only DEVOTE yourSELF to yourSELF.

So ASK, “what do I really want”?

So ASK, “what makes me the happiest”?

We can start to unravel the TRUE YOU by asking VERY SIMPLE QUESTIONS.

Start today.

Start now.

Christopher Fields

Savannah NLP

Christopher Fields holds a Master Certification in NLP. Mr. Fields is the Lead Instructor and Operator of Savannah Georgia’s primary learning center for Neuro-linguistic Programming. Chris has held the position of Certified International Investigator (CII) with the Council of International Investigators, a Certified Lean Six Sigma Black Belt with The Council for Six Sigma Certification (CSSC), and currently holds an active Private Investigation license with GBPDSA.

Christopher Fields

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