A little insight on change

Self-ImprovementSuccess

  • Author Kevin Mcfarlane
  • Published July 1, 2022
  • Word count 1,893

Change is something we can depend on no matter what. Sometimes we must adapt to environmental changes brought from outside occurrences and sometimes we must make personal changes in our lives to better ourselves and overcome obstacles which may be holding our personal progress back.

Personal changes and environmental/societal changes affect us differently because personal changes are something we must identify and through discipline, overcome. Societal changes on the other hand, we have very little control over and must accept and adapt to them in order to overcome. In severely rare cases people can change the environment/society but these individuals are few and far between and are considered revolutionaries.

When we are trying to change ourselves there are some barriers we must destroy just in order to begin. First off there can't be any reason for personal change unless we can admit there is a problem. This is the most difficult step.

Admitting we were wrong, accepting our poor choices and being honest with ourselves are difficult things to do. When we become invested in things we have created they are harder to change. Having to admit the person we've created isn't the person we want to be is the first step to initiate change and also the most difficult thing to accept.

The second thing we must consider is the application of discipline. No change will remain without discipline. Motivation shouldn't be the goal in order to conquer, discipline is the goal. Motivation is temporary, ephemeral like a flower. To master discipline is the key, to remain rooted in discipline is to become a mountain. Become solid like a mountain, not fleeting like a flower.

If circumstance leads us through tragic times then in order to change we must lose the belief that we are victims. Even if events out with our choice or control have impacted our life and well being, change will not work if we believe we are victims. We must lose the victim mentality to positively evoke changes.

The final barrier we must destroy is stepping out of the comfort zone. Often times we are comfortable being sad. When being sad is a normality then everything seems in order. The scary thing about change is stepping out of order and into chaos. But the beautiful thing about chaos is that it always reverts back to order.

What influences change? The laws of nature are what influence change at the most fundamental level. Though we have little control over natural laws, understanding some of them can greatly aid us to succeed in our journey of change.

If we understand that the universe is mental and everything starts in the mind, if we understand the power of the mind and how our mentality can effect our reality then we are on the correct path to achieving our goals. Every creation we've ever seen started in the eye of a mind. Creating and keeping a positive mentality is essential to changing ourselves.

Now this isn't always easy so understanding another two natural laws can be useful in keeping a positive mentality. The law of polarity and the law of rhythm both work in unison. The fact that everything is dual in nature is polarity. Order and chaos are an example of a polarity both different ends of the same spectrum. +10 and -10 are a polarity, they are both numbers separated by degree. The two ends of any polarity are essentially the same thing separated by degree. Polarity is under the sway of the other natural law, rhythm.

We can't constantly position ourselves to the positive end of any one polarity but with the knowledge that there is a constant shift of polarities we can use our mentality to stay positive with the belief and assurance that the sway of rhythm will again return us to the positive pole. The more positive our mentality the quicker and more able we are able to shift our mindset.

Everything mentioned so far leads us to another natural law, cause and effect. When events occur which are out with our control we are been ruled and our actions are effects, our actions are in fact reactions. By finding the strength, mentality and discipline to change we are bending ourselves and our future to not be directly effected. After we take the first step by making the decision to change, after our reaction to the realization we must change, we begin to cause our reality as opposed to reacting to it.

This is true inasmuch as we are causing the changes within ourselves and obviously we will still be reacting but now we are reacting to a cause we ourselves created by initiating change. Once we react to the need for change whatever the reasons may be, we take control, however small, and can begin to organise our new journey to a better self. Of course there are still a million other causes out with our control which we must react to but we have the power to be causers to our own progress, through the understanding of the natural laws and the willingness to accept our faults.

There are things we can change and there are things we can't change. We should try not concern ourselves with the things we can not change as it will only lead to failure and frustration. We have the power to change ourselves. Our thought patterns, our emotions, our reactions. We also have the power to change our unwanted behaviours and we have the power to better ourselves physically. By bettering ourselves intellectually we have the power to also better ourselves financially.

These are all things within our control which we can change. But these changes will involve stepping from comfort to discomfort. From the known to the unknown, a step which takes courage and will power to commit to.

What things can we not change? What things should we not focus on? Other people. We can not and should avoid trying to change other people, unless we can change them indirectly through leading by example, deliberately trying to change others is a fruitless endeavour. We will find it difficult to change other peoples beliefs. We will rarely be able to change other peoples opinions and we most certainly won't be able to stop other peoples judgements. The very fact that we can't change others opinions should be enough to make us realise we should not care about their opinions.

The fear of what people think of us can be a barrier against our decision to change. The people who can forge their own path in life often become great, they also probably don't care about others opinions. Another reason why you shouldn't care about the opinions of others is, they probably don't like the fact that we have strength and drive to initiate change for they themselves at that moment in time don't possess such power, therefore such people may not react positively to the news we are trying to better our position in life.

Things out with our control are certainly not things to try and change or fret over. For many years I gave attention to matters I couldn't possibly alter in any way and as a result I became very depressed, agitated and frankly I became a person other people would rather avoid. What we focus our attention on is what our thoughts will become and what we think becomes our perception. So giving our attention to poor media will negatively affect our perception which will greatly reduce our chances of seeing changes as a necessary effort worth pursuing.

Steps to change. If we want to successfully change we must start small. Take small steps to change in order to succeed. Giving ourselves small manageable goals will give us a better chance to complete them. By completing goals we gain confidence and this will urge us to continue. The opposite is also true, if we make our goals too great we set ourselves up to fail and as a result will lose confidence and it will become more difficult to continue. We shouldn't fear or avoid failure but we also should not set ourselves up to fail. Understand our own limits and set goals accordingly. Our goals should be set to challenge us enough to know we have achieved yet not so challenging to be unattainable in a short set space of time. These greater goals should be attained through many small carefully planned achievable milestones.

Have an end goal in mind, have a target to achieve. Work out what we need to do in order to achieve and plan effectively. If our goal is a greater salary, then first weigh our options at our current place of employment. If there is no chance of progression, then we must look at other jobs, if other jobs won't meet our target then we must think about education. What steps do you need to pursue education, maybe first you need to brush up on maths or English, so do it. Make the necessary efforts for getting accepted into college or university.

If the goal is to lose weight, then small steps, small goals. Be honest with ourselves. With these personal goals it's better not to be kind to ourselves. Admit it. We must admit that we are fat. We must make a plan we can achieve. Don't drink soda this week. An achievable goal. Once we achieve it we can say, OK no soda or chocolate this week. For the first few weeks looking at our weight isn't even important. Stopping the actions which make us gain weight is more relevant.

Quitting addiction is the most difficult change to make. There must be a significant alteration in mindset or a very important reason to win the battle. Also there must be replacement for the original addiction. We can seek help from the doctor to get temporary replacements but we must ensure the medical help is actually temporary. When I quit smoking I likened my need for a smoke to a thirst, so I drank water whenever the urge arose. Shortly after quitting I took up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. This became my replacement for smoking. I knew I wouldn't be able to afford the membership if I smoked and also my fitness would be greatly affected by smoking. BJJ gave me the reason and willpower to not smoke. A worthwhile, healthy activity can be a replacement for battling addictions but a new mindset is essential to success.

If the goal is to run a marathon, first we must run a kilometre. Then we can go for 5 kilometres, then 8 kilometres, 10 kilometres. Small successes will bring confidence, which will help us believe in ourselves.

We must have faith in ourselves. We must not be afraid to try. We must never be afraid to fail. To try and fail is better than failing to try. Each and everyone of us is capable of making positive changes for ourselves. No one else can do it for us.

The next time you feel like complaining about your lot in life just remember, it was your own decisions and reactions which created your current situation and it will be your own decisions and reactions which will empower you to move forward and make the positive changes which will silence your own complaints.

Kevin McFarlane is from the UK, not very experienced in writing articles but has wrote many poems over the years published at allpoetry.com

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