From the moment we hit puberty and develop a desire for the opposite sex we have set the stage for a "breakup" of a love relationship. Depending on how fast we learn or what we decide we want from our love life will dictate just how many times in our life that we are so afflicted. Hopefully as we age experience and maturity will help us get through each of these breakups while the search for our life partner continues. While we learn mistakes are made that usually are painful and most times preventable. If we search for help beforemaking mistakes can make life easier and is very accessible on the internet.

HOWEVER when you look to the web for answers you find hundreds of websites proclaiming the four, the five, or the sixteen errors to avoid making during the breakup. These usually include how to communicate, the best way to continue to make yourself available, or to provide space for your loved one while the situation cools down.

What you do not get is details on any of these methods…just five or six sentences relating to the subject and then off to the next one. Maybe it is time to take a closer look at an ingredient of a loving relationship.

"Tenderness" is the word of the day. If you look to a dictionary for a definition you will find: "easily moved to pity, love, etc…careful not to injure…and expressive of the softer passions". If you ask someone what "tender" means they will probably respond to the edible quality of the steak they had last night for dinner. Both of these definitions have one thing in common…that is they describe the ability to yield. As the steak yields to your chewing the lover must yield to the needs of the loved one.

An objective of love is to be special to your partner, to be able to meet their wants and needs with action…especially before they ask for those needs. The ability to do this comes from paying attention to your relationship, to have a desire to give your partner something from your heart. When you have your heart into your relationship your true intentions and thoughts cannot help but leap out to your loved one. It is said that what comes from the heart goes to the heart, meaning that if you truly have the interests of your partner mind then this will be returned to you many times over. Think about this. Study this because it is not difficult to do if your desires are sincere.

Immerse yourself in learning the skill of showing tenderness. Opportunities to demonstrate will open up to you many times throughout the day. Something as simple as offering walking up behind your loved one and give them a six minute neck massage. This involves minimum usage of your time, very little use of your muscles and will return HUGE benefits to the feelings your partner will feel towards you. How about taking the time during your commute home to stop and buy her a single rose? Of for the ladies maybe it is time to pick him up a favorite bottle of wine (or six-pack of beer or bag of pretzels…just something that is meaningful to the other one when it comes from you).

You were not given the love of another in a relationship solely to satisfy your needs. Love needs to be a constant tug-of-war with each giving to the other what will strengthen the relationship. Another method to state this is to not take out more than you put in. Develop your love with positive actions and the reward will be a long and satisfying partnership.