Emotional abuse is the first stage of domestic violence. You find yourself in a romantic relationship that begins with our new partner being extremely attentive. He is willing to do anything for you. Things progress quickly, though, perhaps faster than your comfort level. He talking about marriage and kids and your not ready to go there, yet.

I will insert a disclaimer here: Not all emotional abusers are men. Women can also be abusers. I will the male pronoun in this example because the majority are men due to their size and generally more aggressive nature (no offense, guys).

When you try to slow him down he doesn’t even hear you. He never has taken "no" for an answer; and you didn’t have the heart to give it to him. That was a mistake on your part. When abusers are scouting out a partner they look for someone who can’t say "no". Maybe they start by offering you a drink. You really don’t want on one, he insists relentlessly until you cave and accept it. He’s testing you. You should be testing him. When offered something from someone you just met, politely refuse. If he perseveres (won’t take "no" for an answer) lose him immediately! He’ll scout elsewhere. If he’s O.K. with you declining his offer, he passes that test. Later you can change your mind about the drink, though you may have it get it yourself.

So now you’re in a relationship with Mr. Super Attentive and you notice that when he gets grouchy he takes it out on you. At first he just makes sideways remarks to you about your appearance, intelligence or behavior; ranging from little verbal put downs to name calling. He’s overly critical of everything you do and soon he’s humiliating you in front of your family and friends.

His overall demeanor slowly changes as he gets angry easier all the time. He’s overly jealous and need to know where you are at all times. You start to lie to him in an attempt to keep him calm. Soon you realize that he makes all decisions and he has slowly taken full control of your relationship.

If this describes your relationship you are the victim of emotional abuse. I’d advise you now to get out. Things will not get better- only worse. He may initiate stalking behaviors next, showing up unexpectedly at your work or other places you normally go without him. He will try to isolate you from your friends and family. He may start and argument with them. You would, of course side with him so as not to anger him. His isolation process begins.

His anger becomes more frequent and escalates to mean gestures, breaking things that have sentiment value to you, even abusing your pets. He may even flaunt weapons to you.

Girl, the red flag was waived right in front of your face. If you have let the emotional abuse get this far you are in eminent danger! The next step is physical violence. This won’t only happen once, although he’ll probably swear it’ll never happen again. His lying is one of his lesser sins!

You need to leave this relationship now!