If it has been over three days since you "split the sheets" with that lifelong love it is time to do something about it. There has been enough time to cry over the spilled milk and whimper into your hot cocoa about not having anyone in your life to cuddle up to. If you have any desire at all to rebuild this lost relationship surely you have been doing research online and have seen countless methods advertised to "get your ex back now" or "how to find your lost love in minutes". Read any of this stuff and know by now that the first step is to get your own act together. So let’s assume that by now you have decided that you want this love and are ready to work to put it back into your life. So what should your first steps be?

Actually let’s investigate a few things that you should NOT do in order to get your lover to come back. Read these and then feel free to add to your list with personal experiences. Put enough of them together and you gain great methods to get this love-life back on track:

• You are one-half of the lovers that caused this break up so don’t lay the blame completely on your significant other. Get back to reality here. We are all human and one of our great talents is creating ways to make personal boo-boo’s. Now is the time to own your mistakes, accept them and get on with life. EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE: when you realize the mistakes you made in this relationship simply figure out how to not make them again. When your actions repel your lover and turn out the light of affection in their eyes then the only way to re-ignite that flame is apologize and vow to yourself to never commit that dastardly deed again. Then don’t.

• Possibly the two of you believe you fell in love "at first sight". Chemistry drew you together and the relationship was full of love, compassion, passion and all the other things that make love grand. Guess what? You did not break up on first "fight". This dissolution (temporary) of your love life came about in a lengthy process. Your makeup, or reconciliation, will come about in this same manner. When you regain your love it will be at twentieth sight or thirty fifth sight…not first. This means that a plan must be developed to rekindle this romance and then followed. Your future is at stake here so don’t adopt the attitude that "I Want It Now" or you may not get it at all. There is an old saying that "those who act in haste will repent in leisure" so decide what you want, work towards that goal and when you succeed it will be a greater love relationship than before. Bottom line? Do Not Be Pushy!

• While working to pull your lover back into your arms don’t be afraid to be thankful for what was. Remember the good times of love and dwell on those rather than on the fights. Work to correct mistakes and forgive your other half the mistakes made by them but be grateful there was a couple to make those mistakes. If you had not been a loving couple at one time there would not be a chance to be a couple again.

You easily should be able to add a number of "don’t do’s" to this list. However do not dwell on them too long. The object is to recognize them, own them and correct them. This comes about through acceptance and forgiveness. Once you know what will not be done in the quest to rebuild this long lost love (remember those long three days?) then you can concentrate on what must happen. Now you know what not to do, so the time has come to investigate what you should do! Back to the internet, I guess?