Most people at sometime in their lives have suffered a breakup. Breakups are kind of backwards. The more you do things in life, the easier they get. But breakups are the complete opposite. The more they happen the harder they get.

When you breakup, unless the relationship was a complete nightmare most people have a desire to get back together. Even if the relationship wasn't altogether perfect they still want to get their ex back. If your ex ever was violent or verbally abusive then this isn't a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like this and you just broke up, count your blessings and go seek your perfect partner. They are out there somewhere.

Most relationships follow a pretty similar pattern. You meet someone, everything is wonderful and new. You can do no wrong, they can do no wrong. A short while later you are both comfortable with each other. You adjust to each other. When the newness wears a bit and the comfort sets in, the relationship changes. Little things you were willing to overlook start to bother you.

There's a well known saying: "Familiarity breeds contempt" This is so true where relationships are concerned. The more familiar you get with your lover, and they you, the more contempt you start to feel. Small amounts at first but it grows, and it grows. This will test the most solid relationships to the limit. It takes a lot of work to maintain a great relationship. When things break, instead of trying to repair it the other person decides to get out of the relationship.

If you believe your relationship is worth saving, despite it being over, even if your ex makes it clear it's over. Then you need some tips on how to get your ex back. Here are 4 easy steps to help get your ex back.

1 Say sorry

Saying sorry is one of the best methods to get your ex back. Even if it doesn't result in your ex coming back, it's usually the best first step to take. Be sure you are saying sorry for the correct reasons though. After a split it's easy to blame yourself. Remember it takes two people to have a successful relationship, and also to have a breakup. Knowing exactly what to say sorry for is vital to your chance of getting back together.

When you do apologize, don't let your ex bait you into a fight. The single biggest risk of saying sorry is that it can lead to a fight. If you say sorry and your ex brings up some past problem, try not to go on the defensive. Keep calm, keep your emotions in check and carry on with the conversation.

2 Sit down and have a "clear the air" talk.

If your ex is willing, meet and sit down to have a talk. Do not plead, beg, cry or force your ex into this, they won't be open to talk. If they are reluctant to do this, go to the next step. If they do agree, you must keep your emotions in check. Letting your emotions run away could be a disaster. Make it clear that you are not here to start dishing out the blame.

You simply want to talk through the issues surrounding the breakup. Without assigning blame you have a better chance of getting results. If you are both open to it a therapist or expert in this field can work wonders if you can get them involved.

3 Give your ex space.

This may seem like a total wrong move, but you have to remember that because you want to talk, they may not want to. It's crucial to allow your lover some space. A short time away from each other will allow you both the chance to cool down, and crucially a chance for them to miss you. When you try to win them back they will be more open to the suggestion.

4 You need to care about yourself, and show them.

Prove you care about yourself. If they see you as desperate, clingy and needy you will not succeed in winning them back. If you sit about waiting for them to call, text or check your email every few minutes you aren't doing yourself any favours. Go out with your friends, go see a movie or go to a concert. Just do something and live your life. It's amazing how easy your ex will find out you have been out and about enjoying yourself.

If you aren't there when your ex calls, this raises their curiosity. They start to wonder what you are doing. If you're out and your cell phone rings don't answer. Let it go to voice mail. Call them the next day and explain you were out having a great time and couldn't take the call. This can really shock your ex into the fact that there may be life after them for you. You may even be able to get them chasing after you again.