Swinging—what is it and where did it come from? It’s a pretty common term, unless you haven’t heard of it, or you have no idea what it is. Swinging is a new and thrilling unconventional sexual lifestyle that heterosexual couples and consenting adults engage in. Swingers are the couples who hook up with other couples and switch partners at intimate parties and in the privacy of their own homes. Sounds like sexual candy, no? Oh yes, swinging is well and alive—no, it’s not just a figment of one’s erotic imagination—it happens in real life, and the number of swingers are growing by the minute! Swing clubs where couples can attend and mingle with other swingers have been increasing.

These parties offer couples an opportunity to hook up and go back to an environment where there is more privacy and engage in the sexual buffet. Now, now, don’t get too worked up yet. A lot of guys would find this very fascinating and exciting for sure, who wouldn’t be?? BUT, just like anything in this imperfect little world of ours, swinging has a glitch: it is not the answer to a sexual relationship that’s failing right before your very eyes. Keep in mind, fellas that this wonderful, wonderful practice should only be used to enhance an already sizzling sex life with a partner.

The key to enjoying a swinger’s life is having excellent communication with the partner, which means you are open and comfortable with each other and can discuss just about anything, even about sex without blushing like a virgin. Before we dig deeper into a swinger’s life, let’s understand some very important concepts: closed swinging is one where a partner would rather not watch their partner have sex with someone else; open swinging is more voyeuristic: one watches while their partner is having sex with another person. Soft swinging is trading partners only during foreplay—the couples return to their original mate for actual sex.

Walking into a swinging environment for the first time can surely make one giddy with anticipation. Although this is but a human reaction, keep in mind that being overly eager is not the way to go. After all, swinging is a social practice, and also requires one to engage in conversations and some light flirting. Try to socialize and observe how people are behaving instead of dry humping the first couple you bump into. And oh, having sex is not really necessary in order to have a good time. Sometimes a couple only wants to see and hear other people engaging in sex, as this can be just the thing they need for each other’s enhancement when on their own.

Swinging is not for everyone, because it is never the answer to an already rocky relationship. Likewise, if you have been plotting to permanently replace your partner for someone at the swinger’s club, forget about it. You’re in for a shocker if you think that’s how swinging events work. Take note: the concept here is to swap, never to replace. Using protection in this environment is not a must, so if you’d rather use one, get ready to explain to the players. In fact, no one would really attack for wanting to be extra careful, so practice safe sex by all means.

One final note: it’s okay to say no. And when someone turns down your offer, accept it graciously and move on. There’s nothing wrong with you, just find yourself another partner and have a swingin’ good time!