Traditionally couples would put together a wedding list based on the items they would need to be able to set up home together after they were married. A traditional gift list consisted of items such as dinner services, toasters & towels. In modern times however, couples tend to live together before they marry & consequently already have many of the items that would have normally been included on a traditional gift list. These days it is far more common for couples to want to ask for money or vouchers instead. However, many couples do feel uncomfortable asking for money as a wedding gift & are unsure as to how to ask guests to give them a monetary gift. So how do you politely ask guests to give you money instead of a potentially unwanted gift? Here is some advice to help you.

Wedding Invitations & the Sticky Subject of Money

Asking outright for a monetary gift on your wedding invitation is in fact downright rude. Even if you are creative in asking, perhaps you want money donated to a charitable cause or you want gift vouchers for a certain store, asking for wedding gifts in your wedding invitations is a big no-no & goes against common wedding etiquette. Sending a gift list or asking for gifts actually implies that the guest is required to give you a present. Keep your wedding invitations free from any mention of gifts & purely to convey your wish that they attend your wedding.

So, How Do You Let Guests Know?

It is most likely that guests will contact yourselves or other members of the bridal party to ask about gifts or for registry information. Be honest with members of your bridal party about your gift wish list so they can convey your wishes in the best way. It may be a good idea to set up a gift registry & also make a mention of your wish to receive money. Perhaps you want to put it towards a certain item such as a sofa or you are saving for a down payment on your first home. This way guests have a choice of what to give you.

Should We Still Register?

As mentioned above putting together a gift registry is still a good idea. Some of your guests maybe uncomfortable about giving you money & a gift registry would give them a choice. You don’t need to put together an extravagant list but instead keep it modest. There are plenty of items you could choose even if you have most of your basic needs, such as kitchen equipment or linens. Look for recreational equipment, ornaments or art.

Honeymoon Registries, Create-a-Gift, Mortgage Registry

Many companies have been creative with the traditional gift registry & are in tune with what modern couples need & want. You can set up a honeymoon registry where guests can give gifts of a romantic dinner for two or theatre tickets. You will receive the cash sum which you can use towards your honeymoon. The Suntrust Bank has set up a registry for guests to give money which goes towards a deposit on a home. Other sites offer ‘create-a-gift’ options which allow you to ask for money towards any gift you can think of by way of gift checks.

What you need to decide is if you are comfortable asking for these things? There is potential for such requests to seem greedy or as rude as asking for cold hard cash. Setting out a honeymoon registry with a specific itinerary, where your guests can really feel like they are contributing a wedding gift & not just handing over money could alleviate such fears. It is worth remembering that even the traditional gift list was at one time considered the height of bad manners, although as gift registries continue to rise in popularity such thoughts are likely to become a thing of the past.