What is a love-cum-arranged marriage?

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Sukhpreet Kaur
  • Published August 4, 2009
  • Word count 724

These days in India, the concept of love-cum-arranged marriage is, rapidly, gaining popularity. And why not! This concept is a beautiful feeling. The Indian society still does not have such advanced values that they will start preferring love after marriage instead of love before marriage. There are different stages of love in a married life. In fact, love is most ubiquitous in the beginning of the marriage. Slowly and gradually, love is overtaken by various responsibilities and children, which the couple has to acknowledge.

The influence of the western culture has brought about this change in the urban cities and towns of our country. These days, young girls and boys move out for a date with the person they love. This is a hottest trend now witnessed in cities. But people living in the interiors of India are still not so familiar with this kind of concept. In villages, people still prefer arranged marriages. Even in cities, some families with orthodox mindset prefer arranged marriages over love marriages. In love marriages, one gets the time to know each other, spend some quality time together, one is in love and then he / she plans to get married but in arranged marriages, it is a different story all together. In an arranged marriage, one falls in love with other person only after getting married. It may sound absurd to someone who really doesn't believe in this whole concept of love after marriage but this is what used to happen earlier and even is happening now in most of the cases. There are some people who even believe that arranged cum love marriage is more successful then love marriage.

In such a situation, one should take an example of the generation preceding us. Earlier, we used to see that almost everybody had an arranged matrimony and they fell in love only after marriage. And even after twenty five to thirty years of married life they love each other. So, it's not that you have to be in love with the person before marrying him / her. First one can get married and then start liking and eventually loving that person. It all depends on the perspective. It is not essential to only marry the person one loves. One can always fall in love with his / her spouse gradually. It is a fact that love doesn't come forcibly to anyone, it just comes naturally. To fall in love with someone, you need to spend time with that person, need to understand each other; need to be loyal to each other. There should be thorough commitment, trust and empathy in your relationship, and then only it can grow into true love. In case of arranged marriages, when two unknown individuals start staying together, then naturally a kind of bonding develops between them. And once some quality time has been spent with the partner, one starts understanding each other's need and becomes more committed. After that, love is bound to happen. Physical attraction or love comes before the marriage but it is true unconditional love that comes only after long relationship. There are some couples who love each other immensely even after year of marriage because they have been committed to each other. One can make any relationship work, if it is given the time and effort it deserves. Love after marriage starts only when one starts thinking the way his/ her spouse thinks. To be so committed, one should be his / her mirror image. Whether it love or arranged cum love marriage, the core essence in both remains the same that is true unconditional love.

Now, with passing time, in India the concept of love cum arranged matrimonial has started gaining popularity. The basic meaning of a love cum arranged marriage is that the couple chooses each other and receives their parent’s approval of their relation after a formal talk.

Parents these days are liberal enough to allow their children to choose their own life partner, but the children are also more mature now and they keep the dignity of their parents and ask for their consent before taking the decision of marrying the person of their choice. So, love - arranged marriages not only bring pleasure and contentment between the couple but also among the two families, because the entire association is based on mutual understanding and love.

Sukhpreet Kaur writes on behalf of Jeevansathi.com, which is India’s fastest growing matrimonial website, provides online Indian matrimonial classified services. Jeevansathi.com enables users to create a online matrimony profile on the website and allow prospective grooms and brides to contact each other.

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