The other day I had a conversation with a young man that looks up to me as his mentor. He posed an interesting question to me by asking, "Bobson, what are some ways not to become a failure in life?" I responded by telling him to be a winner in life he needs to first find a failure, see what he does with his life, and then do the complete opposite.

So, what do people that are failures do? Failures often watch garbage television, know all the court shows, crappy reality shows, all the latest celebrity gossip, who is sleeping with whom, who broke up with whom, who got arrested, who got raped, etc. If failures read at all, it is usually something negative about which star is having sex with whom or what unstable parent shot his kids or some other negative nonsense. Failures love bad news, so they tend to seek it. On the other side, winners read books with topics such as running their businesses, investing in their future, philosophy, improving themselves, or how to be better parents; winners like to be truly informed. If they watch TV at all, they tend to focus on what can benefit them and their families, community or business. Winners do not blame, complain, or make excuses, whereas failures do blame, complain, or make excuses.

A failing person does not believe in cause and effect; rather, they believe in chance and luck, which is why they gamble and play the lottery. Winners do not believe in luck and chance, which is why they do not gamble and play the lottery. Winners believe in cause an effect, sowing and reaping. They believe that what you put in is what you get out. Winners have faith and believe in a higher force or God; failures do not believe in anything. After all, how can they believe in anything higher when they cannot even believe in themselves. Failures are negative people and hang around other negative people just to like them. On the other hand, winners are positive people and tend to hang around other positive people. Unfortunately, failures cannot stand to see people succeed or achieve, which is why you may hear comments such as "rich people are greedy," or "money is the root of all evil." Winners understand another’s success is a success for them so they love and praise people when they hear another achieves it.

Surprisingly, a failing person many times will not know they are failures because they will be surrounded by failures just like them; therefore, they find it okay to hate their job, watch crappy TV shows, curse around their kids, eat only junk food, and accept less in their lives. They believe it is okay because they have no self awareness of who they really are or what they can achieve with just the right attitude; and because of that, they have no control over their lives. Failures tend to be external-in people. They believe circumstances in life just happens to them. However, winners are internal-out people. They believe they create their lives and circumstances, they practice self reliance, and they accept 100% of the responsibility for their emotions, thoughts, and actions.

A failing person wants everything in life and will not get anything; winners decide to have everything in life and usually will get them. Winners have goals; they have plans to achieve those goals. Failures have luck, chance, and wishes; they will just continue doing the same thing by thinking that someone is going to just drop it on their lap or some person is going to get elected in government that is going to bring them the change they have been wishing for in their lives. Failures are very impatient. They cannot start anything because they believe in and practice the failure law called instant gratification. However, winners understand patience, saving, and investing; they usually tend to be wise folks.

At the end of the conversation the young man asked me, "Bobson, how do you know so much about what failures do?" I explained to him that years ago around his age I was a failure, hated my job, my life, spent my spare time watching crappy television shows, blaming people for not having enough money in the bank, blamed the government, my girlfriends, etc. I then met someone who introduced me to God and gave me some great advice on being a man. That person’s words gave me the strength and wisdom I needed to change my life and to stop failing and instead start winning.