"I yearn for change and renewal—you know, a fresh start." Beth, my client, sighed wistfully. "Every January, with the best of intentions, I make lofty resolutions to get out of my rut by finding a new job.

"But in just a few weeks, this resolution is broken. I get scared that I'll end up homeless and destitute. I resign myself to my fate, firmly entrenched in my comfortable same old-same old. I promise myself that I'll really do it next year. Then I turn on the TV and dive into a bowl of ice cream in an attempt to forget how much I hate my job."

Beth is discouraged because she doesn't have the skills to turn her intentions into reality. Why is it so hard to break out of old habits and make changes in our lives that would make us happier? It is literally a mythic challenge that goes back thousands of years.

In Roman mythology, January is named after Janus, the two-faced god. One face reflects on the past, while the other face gazes into the future. Janus is the god of doors and thresholds. In one hand, he holds the key that unlocks the door; in the other hand, he holds the stick that drives away those who have not earned the right to cross the threshold between the past and future. Janus stands at the door, guarding the sacred treasures within from those who are not ready yet to experience the mysterious future.

According to cultural mythology, when we make resolutions on New Year's Eve, we ask Janus for passage across the threshold into the mystery of our future. We offer as payment our willingness to break out of old patterns. Janus then judges our worthiness to pass over the threshold.

His gaze pierces deep into our psyches, challenging our inner guard. Some people call this guard the ego. Whatever you call it, the guard is very powerful. Its strength is drawn from thousands of years of evolution, during which the guard had the critical task of keeping us alive in the midst of ever-present dangers to our very survival. We made it through each day simply by sticking with what worked. Period.

Although the daily threat of being killed by predators no longer exists, the part of our brain that protects us hasn't gotten the message yet. So it continues to play the old tape: taking chances could be fatal.

The guard whispers rationalizations in Beth's ear: don't brave the job market until you are more financially secure and the economy improves. Your job isn't so bad. Give up those pipe dreams; you’ll lose the security you have now. It's best to play it safe—even if it limits your choices, stifles your creativity and ultimately leaves you feeling dissatisfied.

The voice is convincing. If she continues to listen to this voice, Beth will spend the rest of her life spinning her wheels, digging the ruts of her old patterns ever deeper. She will be safe, but she will never discover the true fulfillment that comes from finding the work she loves.

Instead of waging an internal battle, Beth used these Empowerment tools to focus on what she wants, overcome inertia and render fear irrelevant:

1. Recruit your guard (or ego) as an ally in your quest to find the work that you really want to do. Beth set her fear aside and listened respectfully to her guard, taking its concerns into consideration as she made her plans.

2. Reframe problems as questions. The word problem is heavy and drains you of energy. But when Beth thinks about her issue as a question, she is free to use her energy to find answers.

3. Move forward at a pace you’re comfortable with—not moving too far too fast, but enough that you feel like you’re making progress. Just making the decision to explore some options gives Beth a sense of relief and enthusiasm.

Beth reflected on her new attitude, saying, "I will feel confident when I face Janus this New Year’s Eve. I can show him that I'm prepared to take on whatever challenges lie ahead, and that I won't stop until I've discovered the treasures that are on the other side of the threshold. I think Janus will be cool with that."

You can download more free tips for reducing stress this holiday season at my website, listed below. You will find more than a dozen e-books, including Holiday Stress: Tips for Managing Your Stress Levels Successfully. All of these books are free; you can download them immediately to build your confidence as you face Janus this New Year’s Eve!