Dating After Divorce


  • Author Holcy Thompson
  • Published December 3, 2011
  • Word count 722

Dating after divorce

Dating after divorce can be a huge challenge. After you've gone through the difficult, painful and often financially costly process of a divorce, it's easy to feel like the thought of dating again is too overwhelming. While it's fine to "take a break" from relationships and rediscover who you really are without your former spouse, it's also easy to get into the habit of being single - a habit which ends up being hard to break. On the other hand, you may be excited about the sense of freedom your divorce has given you and you're ready to get out there - but you're not sure how. Either way it's a good idea to push yourself and make an effort to socialize more. Here are a few tips you can use to make dating after divorce easier and less awkward than it might otherwise be.

Make a Commitment to Getting Out There

One of the most important things you can do when you're trying to get back into the dating scene is to make a commitment to how many social events you'll go to each week. Even if you only go out once a week, you need to have that minimum commitment there and stick to it. Why is that? Because if you don't stick to your commitment to get out there, you'll end up on a slippery slope.

Every time you say to yourself, "Oh, maybe I'll just stay in tonight with a movie and a glass of wine," you're setting up a habit of staying home. Not that there's anything wrong with nights like that - but the point is, the more you "let yourself off the hook" when it comes to socializing, the more you'll stay home in the long term. As a result you'll have fewer new experiences and you won't meet as many new people, which means fewer dates and less chance of finding someone you really connect with.

Have Some Fun

Another important part of getting back into the dating scene is your attitude. You shouldn't take the whole thing too seriously and don't head out there with the feeling that you need to find a new long term relationship to replace your marriage as soon as possible. If you go out with that outcome in mind you're likely to end up creeping people out. Even if others are also looking for a serious long term relationship, if you come on too serious and strong it will make you appear needy, which is unattractive. Have some fun, meet a variety of people, try dating a few people who are not your usual "type" and don't rush into anything too serious.

Date Other Divorcees

Although you don't want to limit yourself to dating only other divorcees, this can be an easy way to get back into the dating scene and it's smoother in a lot of ways than dating someone who has never been married. That's because other divorcees are going to understand exactly what you've been through and your state of mind.

It's also relatively easy to meet other divorcees because many of them are into online dating. You can find many of them on mainstream dating sites and there are also specialist dating sites now designed specifically for divorcees.

Team Up with Friends

When you go to the gym, it's easier to stick to a workout routine in the long term if you work out with a buddy. The same is true when it comes to the dating scene. It's always easier to get out there if you have a single or divorced friend or a group of friends who are also looking to meet new people. This helps you avoid those "staying in with a wine" nights when you know you should be making more of an effort to put yourself out there. The other plus side is that your friends will let you know when singles' nights or other events are happening that you might be interested in.

Make the Most of Speed Dating

One easy way to get into dating after divorce is to go to a speed dating night. Speed dating events usually have age group limits so you can specifically meet people in your desired age bracket. Some speed dating services also run nights specifically for divorcees.

Ending a marriage is never easy. I know I've been where you are right now. That's why I provide others with the information I wish I had known before I went through my own divorce. So stick with me and we'll get through this together.

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