"I can sleep with her, marry her, take care of her, but love –

that’s something else," said Tony, a married man in his late forties.

"Guys don’t like to talk about love. They don’t know what to say.

Of course guys do love. But they express it differently."

Despite this fact, most women do not feel happy unless they hear

those golden words, I love you. Men need to hear them as well. And yet,

as much as men want love, many fight it to the last minute. Love can

make men feel vulnerable, childlike, and unable to do what’s expected

of us, especially those who believe they’re functioning in a dog eat

dog world.

Different types of men express their love differently. In fact, love means

different things to a man, at different times in his life. A woman needs

to be alert to who the man she is with is, and what love means to him.

Although most women wait to hear the golden words, "I Love You,"

there are many different ways that men use to express what they

are feeling.

The first way is simply by saying "I Love You."

Actually, saying these words is a huge step for some men. It means a lot

more than simply expressing a feeling. For some it feels like a life

commitment, for others it is fraught with danger.

"When I say I love you," said Steve, "I feel like I’m taking my life in

my hands and giving it to her. It’s scary. I’ve got to really trust her

and know she won’t throw my love away in order to actually say the words

to her." In this case the fear of rejection comes up strongly. Rejection

is enormously painful for most men, and saying "I Love You", can be an

invitation to be hurt. Most men must feel very secure in the relationship

and in the woman’s feelings for him, before he’ll dare say those words.

For others, saying "I love you," means, I’m offering a commitment.

I’m going to be here to do things for you.

For many men, love is expressed through action, so these words are a

promise of what is to follow. Simply by saying these words they feel they

are agreeing to be there to give to support her. If they don’t do it, they’ll

feel like a heel.

For others, the words means, I’m not leaving, or I’ll always be faithful.

This can be very scary for some men. They feel the words themselves are

a promise, and if the promise is broken, they will suffer as well.

However, there is another type of man, The Lovers, Dreamers and Peter Pans,

who enjoy falling in love and letting the world know it. These men will

say "I Love You" easily.

There are many different motives behind their words though.

Some say it to get a woman to make love with him, others to enter into

a romantic fantasy, some to feel as though they are the great lover of

all time. By saying these words, others seem to be offering the woman

the world ( that they have no intention of giving.)

Others say it just for the sheer pleasure of seeing how good it makes

the woman feel, and how powerful this makes him feel.

When a woman hears those precious words, she should step back a

moment and put them in context. What do they mean to this particular

man? It's important to observe and even ask to achieve a clear

understanding of what the word "love" means to each man.

And if you feel you are not being loved? Are there other ways a woman

might also realize that he loves and is caring for her? It is helpful to keep

a little journal of your relationship. So many acts and expressions of love

go unnoticed and unfelt, because we simply get used to them, or are too

busy to stop and take note – or to stop and say thank you. In the

journal of your relationship, take a few minutes each evening to note,

what you received that day, and also what you gave. Write it down.

Be specific. List everything, like phone calls, kind words, a surprise

visit, etc. It will be amazing to you to realize all the ways your partner

is giving to you, and it will be wonderful to find new ways to give back to

him.