5 Tips For Men Getting Over Divorce
- Author Daniel Hartman
- Published February 10, 2009
- Word count 562
If you've just gotten a divorce, it can be tough getting back into the single life. Here are some tips for men getting over divorce. If you're one of them, these can help you get over the breakup of your marriage and move on with life.
First, it's normal to simply take some time after a divorce to grieve. Even if you wanted the divorce or initiated it, it's still a major life change that you're going to have to take some time to get used to. In addition, it's likely that residual feelings are going to come up about your ex-wife. Even if marriage was miserable at the end and you really wanted out, you may find with some distance between you that you have residual feelings of affection for her. Again, this is normal and it doesn't mean that you shouldn't have ended your marriage. It simply means that you're going through a natural process of mourning and then rejuvenation. So take some time to simply let this be the way it is.
Second, keep tabs on how you feel, but don't jump right back into dating, especially during this period of readjustment. You need some time to readjust and get over this before you can put yourself back in the dating game.
Third, when you do begin to date again, truly do play the field. Don't make any major commitments right away to anyone, and simply let yourself be in the company of women you enjoy. And it's likely that you're going to find a lot of women in the same boat as you are, with marriages coming to an end so that they're getting back into dating for the first time in a long time. Although this gives you something in common, it shouldn't be your only thing in common. This is why you need to play the field and truly wait to find someone who might be right for you.
Fourth, don't just make your new life after divorce about dating. Take some time to really do the things you always wanted to do but that your ex-wife didn't like doing. Want to go fishing or out to have a beer with the guys? Guess what? You can do that. Even though divorce can be hard, it can also be very freeing. Suddenly, you could find yourself doing things you enjoy but that you haven't done in years because your spouse didn't like doing them or didn't want you to do them. This is a very good way to reconnect with yourself and find out what you like without someone else influencing you.
Fifth, if you do meet someone special after some time has passed and you think you might be ready to recommit, that's great, but take it slow. It may very well be that your new girlfriend is also experiencing life after divorce, and you're both going to have to take some time to figure out what the ground rules are for your relationship.
When you're ready to recommit to a new relationship, you'll know. Until then, let yourself have some time to heal from your divorce, and joy your time as a newly single guy, too. If you do things right, you could look back on this time with some fond memories instead of just seeing it is something you had to get through.
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