7 Reasons Fathers Going Through Divorce Should Expect To Get Served with a Restraining Order

Author Ron Lasorsa
Published February 18, 2009
Word count 897

A restraining order is issued in America every 32 seconds. If you're a father going through divorce, believe it or not, a restraining order or a false protection order against you is most likely in your future. If you are hit with a restraining order, you could lose your freedom, access to your children and your money without even knowing that it was happening.

How do I know this?

It happened to my father -- My parents got divorced when I was two years old. Out of revenge my mom intentionally kept my dad out of my life. I never knew my own father. He missed me growing up. I am sure this sad fact influences my actions to this day.

And, most recently it happened to me!

When my ex-wife served me with a fraudulent protection order, it was as if I was attacked while blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back. I didn't see it coming and when I was hit with a divorce and a restraining order that prevented me from seeing my children – I felt helpless.

So, why would my Ex do such a despicable thing to me and our children you might ask?

7 Reasons Why Fathers Going Through Divorce Should Prepare for Getting Served with a Restraining Order

Your ex will want to end the relationship and come out as much of a "winner" as the law will allow (and believe me, it will allow a LOT!) I'm sorry to say it but our legal system is often manipulated in favor of women. If the husband was an actual abuser in any way, then yes, a restraining order should be served. If he actually committed a crime then he should be criminally charged and the kids taken away from him immediately. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case and many innocent fathers are faced with fraudulent protection orders or restraining orders and dragged needlessly through the court system.
Your ex and her lawyer will want gain an advantage in a divorce. Many immoral divorce lawyers routinely advise women to get a restraining order so they can win custody, higher alimony and much more. That is exactly what my ex's lawyer did to me.
Your ex will want to quickly get custody of your children without a hearing. Yes, this is possible! Moreover, your ex-wife can actually have a secret hearing that you are NOT even allowed to attend.
The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) provides Federal funding for the States to set up "professional victims" groups, whose sole purpose is to discriminate against men and perpetuate the stereotype that men are abusers. That's even if we are good, innocent dads in a bad marriage. This act financially incentivizes the "Divorce Industry" to take unnecessary actions against innocent fathers.
Your ex will simply watch you suffer because she's angry. I went through nearly 2 years of restraining order hell because my ex was simply angry with me. Because of this, I was continually subjected to criminal prosecution. My ex actually went so far as to tell all of my children that I did not want to see them even though I was prevented from doing so by the restraining order. It took me four (4) court hearings just to re-establish visitation with them while all that time my ex was telling them that I just did not want to see them. To this day, despite everything I have done to get them back in my life, I am sure they still believe her lies to a certain extent.
Your ex will want to control and manipulate you. Many ex-wives want you to beg for their mercy. As a caring father you don't want to be kept out of your children's lives. You don't want to miss their basketball games, softball games, martial arts competitions and dance recitals. You don't want to miss their birthday parties and their graduations. You don't want to miss watching your children grow up. If you don't have the proper knowledge, women can hang your children that you dearly love, your financial independence and your freedom over your head to get whatever they want from you.
Your ex will want to stop you from modifying custody after your child expresses a desire to live with you. To make sure my children felt unloved by me my wife didn't let me buy them any gifts. She never answered my phone calls. I was threatened not to show up when my son was very sick and in the hospital even though he asked for me to be there at his side. And, she told them lies about me. My oldest son didn't speak to me for 11 months because of her lies.

These are just seven out of thousands of motives that women have to get a restraining order against innocent fathers. Now I wrote this article for one reason – and only reason only. I want to prepare to you for the inevitable. I didn't think it would happen to me – yet it did and because I was unprepared, I went through 20 months of restraining order hell.

Because, I don't want that to happen to you, I encourage you to get my FREE eBook: "Root of All Evil Part 1: How the Divorce Industry Steals Kids Away From Innocent Dads" Get it now at: http://www.RestrainingOrder911.com

Here's to protecting yourself and your children today!

Kids Come First Coalition Founder Ron Lasorsa is an innocent father who went through 20 long months of restraining order hell. After almost losing his children and spending nearly $200,000 in legal fees, Ron now teaches innocent dads going through divorce how to beat a fraudulent restraining order. Now you can get his free eBook: Root of All Evil Part 1: How the Divorce Industry Steals Kids Away From Innocent Dads" at: http://www.RestrainingOrder911.com

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jose teyra · 15 years ago

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for this information , But I had to take care of my health first, and I did not have this insight you so graciously provided, and I could not obtain any legal help because the legal system granted all my financial resources to my ex wife and left me near poverty level. My appearance would not have changed anything and this I say because of past experience with Judge korda, again he is only concerned about his end of it and he could care less about my girls and my relationship with them, after all it's not his life being affected. Fact is fathers are only "Bank accounts" in the eyes of this current system and all this system is concerned with is making sure they do not have to payout any financial support in divorces, it is not concerned with the fathers relationship with their children. Mothers have more power under this system and fathers are seen as expendable.This stupid system grants my ex almost all my money by way of child support and allimony, she gets the house and then expects me to provide an apartment with two rooms so that my girls could stay with me.Even if my girls were not turned against me I don't even have a place to accomodate them on my assigned days with them! Yes ,this is very terrible and yes, there is something improper in this case , maybe not in the procedure but in fact and in truth, this judge ruled against me just on her word against mine, no evidence of any wrong doing , no past violence and no nothing , just because she is a woman and she said she was in fear for her life! and that is all a woman has to say to get her way under the current laws in place. I realize some women have to be protected from animals but good fathers are being treated wrongly and seperated from their much loved children. This judge said that since she feels in fear for her life and we are not inside of her to not know this so he grants her this , but I could still pick up my girls at home and he orders her to stay inside the house while I pick them up ! Now does this make any sense? obviously this judge sees whats really going on here but he does not have the courage to do whats right even if the previous judge kicked it out of court. He only ruled this way to protect his job and not see his face in the papers in the event something goes wrong. After all it's not his life that is getting affected, not his relationship with his children . Everyone knows fathers are getting shafted big time, they are sleeping in their cars, their health compomised , heartbroken , torn and then everyone wonders what went wrong when they see horrors in the evening news! There is so much hipocracy , so many stupid laws , so much fineprint, so much deception and so many people profitting off of other peoples misfortunes it's pathetic! And the only people really profitting from all this is Lawyers and Judges who are lining their own pockets and sending their children to the best schools and living large while our families are being destroyed by their cajoling husband and wife to fight over who gets what so they could profit large!

jose teyra · 15 years ago

The first restraining order was against me to get me out of the house, it was dismissed by a judge who saw through her,the second one was granted by a cowardly judge who calls himself a family judge and seemed to be bored with the whole process, just because she felt scared of me. I moved out ,I wanted nothing to do with her after she did that, I spent all summer with the girls, and then she sent my smallest (12 years old at the time)to try to get me to take her back , I did not and then she began playing the alienation game. She changed the telephone number and the girls started to make up excuses for not wanting to spend time with me. At the bequest from family and friends I did just that I contacted he police and I picked them up with the police .Only my youngest came out without the police getting involved . The older two 14 and 17 were very turned against me ,so much so I took them back because they were disrespectful and rebellious and they made it more than obvious they did not want me in there lives. The middle one told me that their mother had told them that I wanted to kill her and that I left them (the girls) for another woman. I wasn't even able to date until almost eight months later.When I brought the other two back home she called child protective services on me. The officerassigned investigated and she told me she found no evidence of abuse and she talked to each one seperately, all they told her was that they were afraid of me , but when she asked they couldn't tell her why. The officer also told me that she had told my oldest that she was wrong for talking back to me and not respecting me . They scheduled a hearing , which I did not attend because I knewI was just stressed out and I needed to get away from all this , next thing I know a restraining order was issued and I could not see my daughters until I attend a parenting class which I refused because I am a father and I do not need the divorce industry meddling in my family buisness , telling me how to raise my kids.So I opted to wait it out until my girls see the truth, it may well be a long time and I will undoubtedly suffer but I am not going to put them through a battle for custody, they have been through enough having a lovely home destroyed by all of this.When we went our seperate ways ,I thought it was over , but as it turns out it was only the begining, I have only myself to blame, I took her back years ago , maybe out of love maybe pitty, probably both, maybe I just didn't want anything to happen to my oldest at the time, the very same one who is now turning her back on me. I believe they are old enough to know me and the love I gave them for all these years, I gave them my all, and if that wasn't enough well then I guess I have to learn to when to fold them, and walk away.

jose teyra · 15 years ago

5-17-06 To: Chief Judge Dale Ross Fr: Jose A. Teyra Re: Cases 05-1836, 05-6873 Dear Judge Ross, the purpose of this letter is to bring to attention the unfair and unbased Decision in these two cases. My former wife, Tania Teyra filed a motion for a restraining order for the second time, the first case being 05-0021243 with judge Tescher in which he dismissed. This scorned woman’s only intent was to file an injunction with the sole purpose of getting me out of the house and alienate me and my family from my children .The attached letter goes into greater detail, but my intent is to have you review this case in which Judge Korda awarded her this restraining order without any police report or any proof of violence, it was unsubstantiated and unsupported in any way. His only reason was that he felt she was afraid of me. Judge Korda asked me if I had any problem with him allowing this restraining order and I said yes. It was only her word against mine. As a result I have recently become aware that I have a record of domestic violence and I can no longer as a result enjoy my civil freedoms such as I can no longer buy and sell guns, carry a gun, go to a shooting range, and I also have recently applied to US customs and this job requires me to carry a weapon. Prior to this I have a clean record never been in any type of legal problems and in 16 years of marriage there has never been any domestic problems. My former wife just wanted me out of my home and is very vindictive to the point of alienating me from my children in which Judge Korda is so graciously accommodating. My civil rights have been violated and I seek restoration. Because of depression and high blood pressure stemming from all of this I could not attend hearing 05-6873, but I wrote the attached letter to him and he never responded. Judge Korda sent me a notice to attend parenting classes, before I see my kids again. Judge Korda seems to be only concerned with self preservation and seems to cater to the divorce industry. My case did not meet any of the attached criteria under Misdemeanor crime of domestic violence and proper council did not represent me, nor did I waive the right to any representation, or a trial by jury. I am seeking my civil rights be restored and a pardon. Please review this case and if another trial is desired, I am requesting that another Judge try this case. I believe Judge Korda is only concerned with keeping his face out of the newspapers and he has ruled in favor of the court. Women are abusing these protective laws and good fathers are treated as deadbeats. We are subjected to living at poverty level, we get kicked out of our homes, our civil rights infringed upon and above all we are separated from our children. These laws have to change there is too much abuse and these laws are outdated, the times have changed and now the scale is tipped to the woman’s side. I will respectfully await your response, Best regards, Jose A. Teyra. CC: State attorney