Fathers and Child Custody


  • Author Berna Lee
  • Published November 25, 2009
  • Word count 527

Life is full of stereotypes and here are a few. Women stay home and do the housework while men go out to work and put food on the table. Mothers are better parents than fathers. Men are not able to be the primary caregiver in the family today.

Times have changed and those statements above are clearly no longer true. But why is this so and what is the situation today?

Well to start we are obviously talking about a divorce in which there is a child or children to be cared for. Not so long ago the vast majority of divorces saw the mother being given custody of the children. This has definitely changed. Mothers are still in the majority as far as the primary care giver goes but more and more fathers are stepping into that role. Why?

Well, firstly, because they can. Men today are no longer locked into employment which makes it impossible for them to look after their children. They might need to hire a nanny for some of the time or maybe live with a family member such as the children’s grandmother, but men are also more flexible when it comes to their employment.

Secondly, studies show that men make excellent fathers and that children need such a person to care and nurture them. Mothers of course make brilliant parents but so too do men.

Then there is the unfortunate woman described as an unfit mother. This is a term we do not like to hear as it is assumed that any mother will care deeply for her children. Sadly there are some mothers who simply cannot cope. They may have a mental or physical illness or addiction and cause the children to be at risk. When a mother is deemed to be unfit to care for her kids, it is often the father who takes responsibility for their upbringing.

Of course when a judge rules that one parent is to have the majority of care for the children, it does not mean the other parent is unfit. And in most cases where both parents love the children and want to be with them, visitation rights are nearly always given to the parent who is not the primary career.

So, let us assume you are a parent facing divorce. Furthermore, you want to be the primary caregiver for your kids. Well you could try discussing the matter with your spouse and perhaps agree to the custody issue. But if such an agreement is not forthcoming, your best bet may well be to hire a lawyer who is experienced and successful in helping clients win custody of their children.

Remember you have to convince a judge that you are the best option for the child or children. To do that you will need to prepare and prepare well. An experienced lawyer will know what to do and how to do it.

One of the best things you can do in convincing the judge is show that you, as the father, want the children to remain in constant contact with their mother. It’s called doing the right thing by the kids.

Berna Abonita is a writer offering free advice and resources on fathers custody and father child custody. Visit the website for more free separation and divorce advice.

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