A school bus is teetering on the edge of a bridge ready to fall 500 feet downwards into the ravine below. All of a sudden a red and blue blur zips in from out of nowhere and the school bus is pushed back onto the bridge. It's Superman. Nearby, a cyborg walks onto the bridge holding a piece of green rock. Superman's legs start buckling and he starts feeling really sick. It turns out the cyborg is holding the one thing that can trigger Superman's downfall. It's Kryptonite.

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Do you ever find that your family can bring you to your knees like this?

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One minute you're standing strong, and the next minute a cutting remark or something they do just rips you apart emotionally. This is what I call a dysfunctional family trigger. Something someone says or does in your dysfunctional family wreaks havoc with your feelings of well-being.

If you're trying to overcome low self-esteem, this can be a bit of a heartache for you. You're trying your best to break new ground in your life, and all of a sudden someone is saying "you can't do it" or some other negative remark.

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Of course, one of the most effective ways to build self-esteem is to try things which engage and challenge you and to keep doing them.

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To do this, you have to be willing to put feelings of "I'm not good enough" behind you and take action. Of course, if you've got dysfunctional family triggers bringing you to your knees like Superman on Kryptonite, it's going to be tougher for you to do this.

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That's why you've got to do 3 things to combat this problem.

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1. Put some distance between you and your dysfunctional family. Spend less time with them (or stop spending time with them altogether).

2. Start seeing a therapist if you're not already. A good therapist will teach you how to set healthy boundaries and other important life skills to help you build yourself up if you're an abuse survivor.

3. Keep doing the activities that you find engaging and that bring you a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

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I realize you may feel like you'd have no one to turn to if you dropped the dysfunctional people out of your life.

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It's a scary proposition. That's why I suggest you see a therapist. A good therapeutic relationship can help make you feel safer as you make changes in your life. It can help you understand why you react the way you do to your family, and more importantly, how to stop.

Dealing with dysfunctional family triggers can help you get rid of the negative drag in your life as you're growing your sense of confidence. Instead of being brought to your knees like Superman on Kryptonite, you'll be a bit more like Superman leaping a tall building. And that's something worth fighting for.