Plenty of people resolve to make change in their lives.

"I’m going to lose weight."

"I want to make 10 new friends."

"I’m finally going to open that coffee shop."

That’s the easy part – you can resolve to do anything. But most people make those resolutions on January 1, and by January 8, those goals are in the trash right next to the noisemakers and stupid paper hats.

Setting goals is easy. It’s even easy to think about how to accomplish them. People fantasize about starting their own business, overcoming anxiety, or approaching attractive strangers all the time. We believe that if we think about it enough, eventually we’ll make it happen.

But then, the excuses set in.

That little voice pops up, maybe so quietly we don’t even realize it. It warns us, persuades us, frightens us away from taking action. "They’ll all laugh at you," it says. "You’ll lose your job." Or even something as simple as, "I need more training or practice before I do this."

Excuses are easy. And sometimes, they’re valid excuses. But the truth is that making real change in your life doesn’t come from saying you’re going to do it. It comes from doing it. And sometimes, "doing it" means falling flat on your face until you get it right.

There’s a popular billboard from the last couple years that read, "On the 10,000 try, there was light." It’s referring to the fact that it took inventor Thomas Edison 10,000 tries to create the light bulb. 10,000. That means he had to have the patience, tenacity, and will to fight that ugly little voice 9,999 times. But because he persevered, he changed the world.

Edison took action, even though people probably laughed at him. He took action, even though he probably lost a lot of money. And he took action, even though he didn’t have the right answers…for a long time.

The same tenets hold true for changing one’s own life. If you suffer from social anxiety or concerns about dating and want to get over it, it’s easy to say, "I’m going to read this book and practice at home, and then I’ll be ready."

Yes, preparing is important. But nothing replaces the experience of just getting out there and doing it. Take actions to meet people; join Meetup groups, attend networking events, go to happy hours. And push past those fears and ugly little voices, little by little. You don’t have to overcome everything at once, but small steps will no doubt get you there.

There’s a concept called "immersion." It’s what happens when someone goes to a new country without knowing the language, and they learn it automatically by being around it every day.

The same can be true for getting over social fears. By resolving to get out and be around people ALL the time, you will immerse yourself in your fears and soon start to get over them.

There’s no denying you’ll be pushing your comfort zone, and that can be scarier than Friday the 13th, Jaws, and Martha Stewart combined. But that fear will turn into energy. And that energy will turn into muscle. You’ll get stronger and stronger and eventually those fears will subside, pushing you beyond any dream you’ve ever had of having tons of friends and lovers.

So start by taking little steps. In all probability, you’ll see light much sooner than the 10,000th try.

-Benjy