There is much literature about the need to be optimistic. The idea is that if you view life through an optimistic lens, not only are events more likely to work out for the best, but you will feel better emotionally. The 'glass half full' mentality does serve folks well. In contrast, it is equally obvious that viewing life through a pessimistic lens can cause depression, and can certainly reinforce one. The idea behind cognitive behavioural therapy is that changing the way you think can improve your life prospects significantly.

So optimistic thinking is good then. But is it always good? Should we always be positive? In this article, I suggest that continually viewing events through a positive lens is not a good thing. Remaining unconditionally positive carries consequences for your wellbeing, relationships and life. Let's look at this this in more detail.

1. Your health

There are a number of studies that have been conducted into the correlation between your outlook on life, and your wellbeing. Generally speaking, people were divided into categories, defined with reference to how they viewed life and the events and challenges faced during life. The results are rather interesting.

We would generally expect negative folks to face the worst health issues, and this is indeed the case. Of course, these people might argue that they wouldn't be as negative if they were healthier! But in general, 'glass half empty' people are less healthy than more optimistic types.

So far so good then. But here's the sting.....A second category who apparently suffer from below average health are people who always view and talk about life in positive terms. Why is this happening? Here's my take on why. The people in this category would be what I refer to as 'false positives'. They are so because they have a deep held belief in not saying negative things – about themselves, others or anything. They won't permit themselves the luxury of a bad day, avoid confronting issues, and let their feelings into the open. What doesn't come out gets buried, buried deep in our bodies – given time, this suppression creates 'health time bombs' that if left for long enough, explode in our bodies.

I talk from personal experience, having had a couple of health scares myself. Getting old stuff into the open is a good thing to do for our health. From my own experience, I've seen too many 'nice' people die prematurely – of cancer and the like. So bottling things up and not recognising a bad situation does not serve us well. Being unconditionally and scathingly negative doesn't help either. So what does?

The healthiest category is what I'd describe as the realistically positive, people who generally view life via a positive lens. But when events aren't going well, they let it out, and let others know. Hopefully they do so without alienating others, but that's another article! In other words, they emphasise the good stuff, but don't ignore the negative.

2. Your relationships

False positives are generally not great folks to be with. Not only can they land as inauthentic or false, but they can raise the stress levels of people they come into contact with. Here's an example to illustrate why.

I used to have a manager who was unconditionally upbeat, and he was generally a nice guy. But he walked away from confrontation as a way of life. One day, he strolled into our office just as two key employees were cooling down from a confrontation that had become personal. I had become involved, and to say there was a bad atmosphere would be a massive understatement! Anyway, at this point, the aforementioned manager walked in, surveyed the scene, smiled and uttered the unbelievable words - "isn't it great to see so much potential in this room!". So much for a positive outlook helping the position. Most of us could have cheerfully strangled him, and his intervention resulted in the stress levels increasing further, but being suppressed. Unconditional positivity raises the stress in other people sometimes.

3. Your life

Being 'falsely positive' is bad for your life. Why do I say this? Let's start with a quote Steve Nobel said a few years ago - "We can grow through inspiration, or from desperation". This comment has stuck with me down the years. However, looking at why people change things highlights that, for most folks, the desperation aspect has a stronger driving force in change. That's why change most often happens in response to a crisis - be it a change of vocation, collapse in a relationship, or a company taking emergency measures to survive. Vision and inspiration on their own are insufficient. Even visionary people, like Nelson Mandela say, started from a starting point of desperation.

Ask yourself the question, what prompted your last significant life change? Most people will reply in a way that includes an element of crisis, or even worse.

Given this fact, I hardly need to say that seeing everything in 'good' terms is a surefire way of never implementing the changes you need to implement. Instead of letting out the pain and disappointment, you internalise it, and pay the health penalty later on. To a degree then, we should call a spade a spade. If something in our life is 'not good', we should call it that way.

Being 'generally positive'

In conclusion, being consistently cynical and negative is not a good idea. But the 'false positive' is not a lot better - either for the person concerned or for anyone else. The most effective approach is the 'generally positive' approach to living. View the glass as half full most of the time, and yes, look for the silver lining in setbacks - learning is valuable, and you will feel better anyway. But don't classify everything as 'fantastic' or 'good' when it isn't. Life is a battle sometimes - the questions are 'when is it a struggle' and 'what do you do about it'. The healthy and authentic response is to acknowledge when things aren't good, but not to over-emphasise it, or dwell on it. Deal with the situation, move on, learn the lessons, and view the future through a more optimistic glass.